We live in a world…

Updated on December 9, 2011 By Ken Begg 14 Comments

…where the trailer for a $200 million plus dollar movie bears a title card reading, “From Hasbro, the Company that Brought You Transformers.”

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  • Fish Eye no Miko

    Please tell me I’m not the only one who’d first thought, was “Ia!  Ia!  Cthulhu fhtagn!“…

  • Greenhornet

    Oh look, it’s ANOTHER “idiot charicter who’s supposed to be badass saves the world” movie.

  • I’m holding out for the Jenga movie.

  • Anonymous

    The usual explanation for this sort of thing is the need to buy the rights to a property similar to your concept, so its owners won’t get mad and sue, like when Verhoeven bought Starship Troopers.

    However, a battleship is a thing that exists, except that nobody even uses them anymore but whatever, ships exist. Hasbro couldn’t possibly have hoped to win a lawsuit over their right to trademark a word that has existed for a very long time and refers to a very important thing that is not their game.

    I read somewhere that the movie shows you both sides of the battles, so you know where all the ships are, but that’s less like “Battleship” and more like Tora! Tora! Tora! (Actually, I kind of like that concept… just not here.)

  • Marsden

    I would have liked that better.  I think “brought to you by the makers of Transformers” spells it out perfectly.  It looks like another Transformers movie without Shia and the old toys.  I wonder if this is Hasbro’s attempt to make money off of all their old toys, they had GI Joe and Transformers, what about a Play Doh movie?  That could be GREAT!

  • I’d think I’d watch it just to see when and how the phrase, “You sank my battleship!” is used.  You know, I’d like to guess if the writer patted himself on the back or shrugged and got it over with.

     (It wasn’t used in the trailer, was it?  Brain kind of went into sleep mode.)

  • Terrahawk

    I didn’t think it was possible, but the second trailer makes the movie look even worse than the first trailer. 

  • Flangepart

    Well…
    At least there is one real BB involved. Missouri class, of course.
    Mass destruction? Check. Actors at war with diologue? Check. A look that reminds me of the anime ATRIGON? Oh, yeah…
    Keep the brain in sleep mode, Tork. It’s hurt less.

  • Sandy Petersen

    What a pack of whiny boys! I am a sucker for almost ANY alien invasion movie, even one as brainless as this. Even the utter impossibility of using battleships as the weapon-of-choice doesn’t necessarily spoil it for me because, hey, battleships were cool. I agree that it makes as much sense as discovering that wooden ships-of-the-line are the best weapons against the invaders.

    Just say YES for giant robotic whale invaders.

  • Mitchell Glodek

    I vaguely recall Iowa class battleships being used against one of the giant monsters in “Neon Genesis Evangelion.”  Not exactly used as the designers of the ships intended, however. 

  • The Gaghiel v. Unit 02 battle in episode 8 “Asuka Strikes”. One of my favourites, not least because it had me quoting Jaws by the end of it.

  • ” what about a Play Doh movie?  That could be GREAT! ”

    If they got Aardman involved it’d be awesome.

  • Extremepenguin

    All I was begging for in this trailer was just a small, simple part in which the trapped-within-the-force-field sailors showed the commanding officer how they (theoretical quote) “mapped out the battle area in a grid with lateral letters and corresponding vertical numbers! Name a square and we fire on your command!” Followed by, “Orders, captain?!” [dun-dun-dun] (close up on captain) “G6!” (missile launch) *braka-KOW* *Shka-BOOM* “IT’S A HIT, CAPTAIN!” *crew cheers*…

    …Y’know, SOMETHING of the pulse-pounding drama that came with every set of BATTLESHIP, property of Hasbro, the makers of Transformers (and *ahem* G.I. Joe *grumble*)

  • “Commander!  Our aircraft carrier has already taken four hits – she can’t take another!”
    “Goddamnit, you alien bastards.  You sank my battleship.”
    “They’re DIAGONAL!  You can’t do that!”
    “Our last hope… is J7.”
    OK, I’m done.