We live in a world…

Oh look, it’s ANOTHER “idiot charicter who’s supposed to be badass saves the world” movie.

The usual explanation for this sort of thing is the need to buy the rights to a property similar to your concept, so its owners won’t get mad and sue, like when Verhoeven bought Starship Troopers.

However, a battleship is a thing that exists, except that nobody even uses them anymore but whatever, ships exist. Hasbro couldn’t possibly have hoped to win a lawsuit over their right to trademark a word that has existed for a very long time and refers to a very important thing that is not their game.

I read somewhere that the movie shows you both sides of the battles, so you know where all the ships are, but that’s less like “Battleship” and more like Tora! Tora! Tora! (Actually, I kind of like that concept… just not here.)

I’d think I’d watch it just to see when and how the phrase, “You sank my battleship!” is used.  You know, I’d like to guess if the writer patted himself on the back or shrugged and got it over with.

 (It wasn’t used in the trailer, was it?  Brain kind of went into sleep mode.)

Well…
At least there is one real BB involved. Missouri class, of course.
Mass destruction? Check. Actors at war with diologue? Check. A look that reminds me of the anime ATRIGON? Oh, yeah…
Keep the brain in sleep mode, Tork. It’s hurt less.

I vaguely recall Iowa class battleships being used against one of the giant monsters in “Neon Genesis Evangelion.”  Not exactly used as the designers of the ships intended, however. 

” what about a Play Doh movie?  That could be GREAT! ”

If they got Aardman involved it’d be awesome.

“Commander!  Our aircraft carrier has already taken four hits – she can’t take another!”
“Goddamnit, you alien bastards.  You sank my battleship.”
“They’re DIAGONAL!  You can’t do that!”
“Our last hope… is J7.”
OK, I’m done.