So, what’s wrong with this review…

From Time Out magazine, regarding Shark Night 3-D:

“Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water again, along comes…a PG-13 rating.

By A.A. Dowd

You’ll spend more time with the food than the fish in Shark Night 3-D, a Jaws clone stranded in the PG-13 end of the pool. A gaggle of brain-dead coeds fends off various species of eating machines in a salt-water lake. But after a blond bather does her best Chrissie Watkins impersonation—sans the blood, the boobs and the moonlight—it’s a veritable eternity before any of the film’s remaining beach bait get the gnashing they deserve. Director David R. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane, Final Destination 2) knows how to rack up a body count, but he’s limited by that pesky MPAA rating. His toothless attack sequences unfold under cover of dark water; the film is the equivalent of a skin flick in which all the sex scenes are tastefully obscured by blankets and sheets.”