Halloween Stuff Part 3…

Updated on October 28, 2009 By Ken Begg 20 Comments

Monday night my boss Dara and I went to see Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds at the Portage, as the Time Travel Toys group (including my friend Paul, who works maintenance at the library I work at) kicks off their full week of horror movies. They have a good deal with Universal, and thus can show just about anything in their catalog. (I pointed out that this includes The Car…maybe next year.)

To make the evening perfect, Dara and I were joined by our department mate Laura for dinner at Superdawg, which conveniently is right on the way to the Portage.  This is one reason the Portage is a perfect set-up for me.  It’s only about 25-30 minutes from the library, even with traffic.  (And a fairly quick drive home in the hours after the shows are over.)  There’s a nice, well-lit parking lot about half a block away, that has very affordable parking rates; $3.00 to 4.00, generally, depending on length of stay.  And the Superdawg thing.

Laura maintains that she’s REALLY easy to scare, and thus won’t go to even mildly spooky movies.  Still, it was nice to share a Superdawg with the ladies and yak a bit.  I dropped Laura off while Dara headed to the theater, then followed there myself.  By this point I was running a bit late and thus was quite annoyed by traffic and stopping at lights every half block, but luckily the movie started a bit late, so no worries.

The Birds is a pretty good film, if not great (in my opinion), but I’d never seen it on a screen before so that really helped make it a satisfying screening.  Hitchcock really knew who to milk suspense; there’s a reason that scene of crows silently congregating on the school playground equipment is such a classic.  Nobody really gives a great performance–Hitchcock wasn’t too interested in actors–but everyone was a pro and does well enough, even the still Tippi Hedron.

While watching the film it was hard not to think about the idiots talking about making a remake (per Dread Central):  Mandalay Pictures’ new president, Cathy Schulman, points out both the difference between the original and the remake and how clueless Hollywood is from top to bottom: “In the original, the birds just showed up, and it was kind of like, why are the birds here?” she, like, totally told the trade. “This time, there’s a reason why they’re here and (people) have had something to do with it. There’s an environmental slant to what could create nature fighting back.”

Gee, it surely is scarier when everything is explained. And a horror movie with an overt environmental theme!  What a novelty!  Nobody’s ever made one of those before.

And, of course, it will probably be in 3-D.  So it’s got to be good!

Yeesh.

Anyway, we didn’t hang around for Psycho, for myself because that I have seen on a screen and also because I was going back the next night to see They Live and The Thing.

Coincidentally, the very next morning my Birds Barbie (see previous blog note) arrived, and it was indeed hilariously cool. They even copies Hedron’s dress.

By the way, Hedron’s character was named Melanie.  Does anyone know if her daughter Melanie Griffith was named after the role?

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  • fish eye no miko

    Ya know, I recycle and try not to waste resources, and all that stuff, so I kinda consider myself an environmentalist, but damn am I tired of Hollywood shoving “SAVE THE PLANET” down my throat…

  • By the way, Hedron’s character was named Melanie. Does anyone know if her daughter Melanie Griffith was named after the role?

    Assuming Wikipedia is right (which is dangerous) Melanie Griffith was six when The Birds was made.

  • Tork_110

    You know what the original The Birds was missing? An action packed finale! None of that walk slowly to the car crap.

  • With the birds firing two pistols whilst flying sideways!

  • Mr. Blue

    And that Matrix style the kids seem to be so fond of!

    Right, and make the Meleanie character a scientist-the best in the field of… whatever science deals with birds…

  • Brad

    And we need to throw in a Native American character who has, um, a spiritual connection to the birds, but whose advice and psychic warnings are ignored by the others until it is too late. That would make it PERFECT!

    (blech)

  • Dr. Whiggs

    If I may be so impertinent, I think (I’m not positive) that, in the original short story, the birds were attacking because of environmental problems.

  • Blackadder

    The reason for the bird attacks isn’t really explained in the short story (by Daphne du Maurier!) either.

    Although a character does theorize it has something to do with weird weather, and I guess humans could arguably be responsible for that.

  • Ericb

    And they should make Melanie a divorced mom with a wiscracking kid and an ex-husband who is a researcher for the military and has some mysterious connection to the bird attacks.

  • The Rev. D.D.

    And when Melanie and her kid and ex-husband are not busy avoiding bird attacks, they have to dodge the ‘STEEEERIOUS Gub’mint sp00ks that are trying to silence them before they can bring to light the gub’mint’s EEEEEEEE-VIL scheme to use birds to win the war in Iraq.

    We also need bigger destruction setpieces. A couple of houses, cars, and a telephone booth? Pshaw! Let’s see them wipe out an entire skyscraper or two, with people running in slow motion from the explosions! They can also sink a cruise liner! And then they can crash a whole bunch of jets, crippling air travel!

    Wait, scratch that last one. That’s actually plausible…AND THERE’S NO PLACE FOR THAT SORT OF NONSENSE IN HOLLYWOOD.

  • Mr. Blue

    Right- do all of the above… and that “Saw” movie thing is quite popular, yeah- so we need to make it more like “Saw”.

  • Dr. Whiggs

    They could just take that one scene from The Core and play it on a loop. I’m sure it will be just as good.

    On a side note, the Birds scared the hell out of my mother when she was a kid. Especially since she had to walk past the nest of some particularly standoffish blackbirds on her way to school.

  • Ericb

    ‘Later in 2007, original star Tippi Hedren publicly stated her opposition to the remake, saying “Why would you do that? Why? I mean, can’t we find new stories, new things to do?”‘

  • fish eye no miko

    Mr. Blue, just FYI, a person who studies birds is an ornithologist. My dad happens to be one.

  • Theodine

    Actually a sequel/remake has already been done. The Birds II: Land’s End in 1994 by Showtime. (Movie Reference books are wonderful.) Tippi Hedren had a small part in it, and I think it included the environmental part. I vaguely remember it was dreadful.

    Many years ago, I saw The Birds on the big screen in St. Louis at the Tivoli. Tippi Hedron was there to answer questions before the movie. It was a lot of fun.

  • Michael Bay’s “THE BIRDS”!

    You may laugh, but it could happen.

  • WJL2

    Hey Ken: “…knew who to milk…”; “who” s/b “how” and “They even copies…”; “copies” should be “copied.” Now, to cases. We don’t NEED a damn reason why the birds are there. No, we need to NOT hae a reason why the birds are there. Didn’t these people learn anything from Jaws? Or the example right in front of them, “The Birds”? When someone (on screen) asks “Why are they doing this?” the only correct answer is “Don’t know.” As “fish eye…” noted, yeah, I’ve had it with enviromental causes. Let’s bring back nuclear radiation (a’la “Them”) as the cause of these things.

  • sandra

    Hi Ken. You state “everyone does well enough, even the still Tippy Hedron.” I’m sure she is still Tippy, but I’m wondering if that isn’t a typo for “stiff”? Now that you’ve got the doll, you can recreate the big attack scene and put it out on Youtube. (Don’t laugh; someone recreated the hobbling scene from Misery there. It’s amazing how maniacal Barbie’s fixed grin looks when she’s got a sledgehammer in her hand.)

  • Bill — Good grief, old man, how are ya? Man, it’s been an age. I hope everything is great with you.

    One of these days I’ll actually start writing articles again, and I’ll send them to you for proofing like in the old days, and, and….[breaks down weeping, clutching mostly empty bottle of Rye.]

    And (obviously), I agree. When did Hollywood decide that “good movie” meant “explaining everything”? Have they so dumbed down the audience (and driven adults from theaters) that this all they can do. Still, the evident preening involved here, which clearly translates to, “We’ll show that Hitchford guy. Our movie will be better, because the birds will be CGI and we’ll be teaching the audience important truths about global warming!!! That means we’re artists, because our movie will have a message!!!”

    Paul and Holly had recorded the recent Monsters vs. Aliens Halloween special, and we watched it last night. We saw the movie in the theater and it was cute, but the special was very flat. Worst was the (sigh) MESSAGE, in this case about not eating too much candy. That’s even how they defeated the monster.

  • Reed

    John M .Hanna sadi: “Michael Bay’s “THE BIRDS”!”

    I can see it now – a murder of 5 crows in a line hopping slowly away from a plane that they just caused to explode. They would all be so cool that they don’t even react to the explosion behind them!