Shut up Woody Allen you past-your-prime dink…

In an article on the IMDB today, Woody Allen is quoted as follows: “”I did [my latest] film in England because it’s increasingly difficult to get financing in the United States. It’s become more and more prevalent for studios and financiers to participate in (a) project. They want to have a say in casting and read the script. I can never work like that. I don’t let people read scripts. I want the money and to give them the film a few months later, and that’s that. In London, that’s the way it was. There’s no rigmarole from people who want to participate.”

Mr. Allen, if you don’t wish to have people meddle in your work, perhaps you should pick a medium that doesn’t require you to get other folks to pony up ten or twenty or thirty million dollars to see it produced. Frankly, the reason you are having more trouble getting no-strings funding is because your movies over the last ten years or so have bascially stunk, while your core audience, which was once at least large enough to ensure that your films broke even, has shrunk significantly. The fact that you were basically afforded the right for decades to make films the way you wanted as long as they didn’t actually lose money was not a life-time guarantee.

So here’s my suggestion: Make films that make money (or at least are consistantly good enough to justify keeping you on as a house artiste); pay for your films out of your own pocket; or shut the hell up. Also, stop being such a weirdo. And thank whoever you believe in for Michael Jackson, since he makes you look normal in comparison.

  • I think he should be sentenced to make the next Vin Diesel film.