Klaatu Barada Nik-WHOA!

Updated on August 27, 2007 By Ken Begg 14 Comments

It’s been reported that 20th Century Fox has just signed Keanu Reeves to star in — get ready for some bold thinking — a remake of the ’50s sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still.  (They must be especially juiced after the amazing box office success of Nicole Kidman’s recent Invasion of the Body Snatchers redo.)

Reeves will presumably assume the lead role, assayed in the original by Michael Rennie, of a super-intelligent Christ analogue who…OOPS!

Sorry, my head just exploded.

UPDATE: Subsequent reports indicate that it was “actor Keanu Reeves” who was signed for this movie.  I had thought they meant instead the guy who starred in Johnny Mnemonic and Sweet November.  Clarifications to follow.

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  • Bookworm

    OK, I think it’s time we seriously consider a preemtive nuclear strike against Hollywood.

  • The Rev. D.D.

    ……………….

    I think my brain broke.

    What would make them consider this? I wouldn’t be happy about it if they had a talented, worthwhile actor in the role. But Keanu Reaves…

    No, I’m sorry, I’m going to have to believe that this is a giant hoax, and will continue to believe so. Even if for some ghastly reason I see the movie, I will continue to disavow any knowledge of it. For my own good.

  • Ericb

    Maybe he’ll be cast in the role of the robot. He should do well with that.

  • josh

    Thanks, that’s the best laugh i’ve had today. where’d you find this, the Onion?

  • sardu

    Oh.
    My.
    Frickin.
    Gawd.

    It was only the superior filmmaking skills of Robert Wise that saved the original from being a peachy self-righteous pile of poo. This will be… it will be… with Keanu… 2+2=5!! There are four lights!! I love Big Brother!!

    *whimpers helplessly in the corner*

  • Just blogged about this myself and then saw you also covering it. You did, however, leave out one key bit of info that should further cause other body parts to explode: they envision this to be the start of a whole franchise of big budget “tentpole” summer blockbuster films with Klaatu Reeves and his bad ass laser-blasting robot sidekick Gort. Seriously!

  • Patrick Coyle

    Foywonder, I simply must assume that you too have been driven insane by this news along with the others, becaue I refuse to believe anything you just said could exist in a rational universe.

    Sounds like you folks need something to take your mind off this. Maybe settle in with the Necronomicon for some light reading, or drop by Cthulu’s to catch a game.

  • Charles Goodwin

    Well now, just follow me on this… they switched genders on the main character for the Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, right? I mean, Nicole Kidman vs. Kevin McCarthy (or Donald Sutherland)… so maybe Keanu is going to be playing the Patricia Neal character? That means they’d have to get some English actress to play Klaatu (because Rennie was English, right, and everyone knows aliens have to have accents, yes?). They’ll probably get Billie Piper for that (Rose Tyler from the new Doctor Who), because, you know, she’s already there with the alien thing, right? Baby, this is box-office gold!

    Eeeeuurrrgghhh….

  • Hmm, I wonder how they’ll make this into an action movie. (If you doubt for a second this is their intention, I’m not sure you’ve been paying attention to Hollywood these days.) Gort can only destroy so much before it becomes kinda hypocritical for Klaatu to be talking about non-violence. They do threaten to kill all of humanity if they don’t shape up, though…maybe they’ll make it more like the short story instead.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farewell_to_the_Master

  • fish eye no miko

    Bookworm said: “OK, I think it’s time we seriously consider a preemtive nuclear strike against Hollywood.”

    I say we nuke ’em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • “Gort can only destroy so much before it becomes kinda hypocritical for Klaatu to be talking about non-violence.”

    Perhaps the aliens follow KARATE KID logic. You know how Mr. Miyagi alwasy taught Daniel-san that fighting was bad and karate was to be used only for defense and then every movie in the franchise with Daniel having to beat someone in a fight.

    And as I posted on my own blog on this remake, there’s still time to cast Chris Tucker as the voice of Gort.

  • Jimmy

    Keanu Reeves in the lead? Why not call it “The Day the Face Stood Still.” Seriously, this is the worst remake news in a while- why won’t they stop?!

  • Quartz

    So, Hollywood is thinking:

    Keanu Reeves > Michael Rennie.

    I could talk for a month straight and I would still not convey how utterly wrong that is.

  • Hasimir Fenring

    With Will ‘Wild West Independence Boys II’ Smith headlining another failed attempt to bring The World’s Greatest Novel to the big screen (taking the fresh route of ripping off 28 Days Later), I have no sympathy. (Of course, I’ll be first in line to see it! Why do you ask?)

    Read it and weep: Keanu ‘Blown Off the Screen by Shia LeBeouf’ Reeves in another remake of an SF classic. Excellent! *that faux-Van Halen air guitar tinkling*