Monster of the Day #269

Updated on June 7, 2011 By Ken Begg 27 Comments

“I’m one tough gazookus, which hates all palookas.
Wot ain’t on the up and square.
I biffs ’em and buffs ’em and always out roughs ’em
and none of ’em gets nowhere.

If anyone dares to risk my fisk, It’s boff an’ it’s wham, un’erstan’?
So keep good be-hav-or, that’s your one life saver
With Popeye the Spider Man.”

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  • Flangepart

    OW! Stupid fangs. There goes another compound eye…better call my ortidontist…

  • Ericb

    It’s Popeye the Spider-man.

  • Wow htis is a terrific monster. I have no idea where it is from but how can this not be great?

  • Ericb

    It’s just one of the horrors of Spider Island.

  • It’s Popeye the Spider-man.

    Ha, I actually considered that for the punch line.

  • It should be noted that Sandy has a long-standing adoration of ridiculous large spiders. The Europeans really loved those, now that I think of it. More of them are featured in both Nude for Satan and Bloody Pit of Horror.

  • rizzo

    The 2nd act boss battle of the Kevin Smith Superman movie?

  • fish eye no miko

    Ken Begg said: “More of them are featured in both Nude for Satan and Bloody Pit of Horror.”

    Though the one BPoH is mechanical.

  • But is it supposed to be? I find the entire issue enigmatic.

  • Rock Baker

    So tomorrow we can expect a shot of Barbara Valentine, right?

    Spiders ALWAYS make for a good monster, given the almost universal repulsion/fear people have to them. Having had to kill TWO larger than normal fiddleback spiders in my house recently, I found myself in bed imagining the floor crawling with similar brutes, and actually managed to scare myself for a second!

    I like this guy, he has so much character for such a limited puppet!

  • Ericb

    My nightmares are filled with cat sized spiders.

  • The Rev.

    Rock: Normally I’d jeer at someone for being scared of spiders, but “fiddleback” is another name for brown recluse, right? If that’s the case, I understand completely. I’ve thankfully only ever encountered one in my life, and it turned out to already be dead by the time I got my shoe off.

    I don’t miss that apartment complex at all.

  • Jeer away. Spiders are horrifying.

  • The Rev.

    So, if I ever want to break Ken, I need to find, or make, a movie full of spiders and realistic gore, eh? Good to know…

    MUWHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

  • Rock Baker

    But can you make a better spider movie than Kingdom of the Spiders? I doubt it very much.

    Yes, “fiddleback” is, I guess the rural name for, a brown recluse. The creatures are actually fairly common in this part of the country. What tears this one is that the two I found were about twice the size they should have been. Really makes me wish he had a way to sleep suspended in the air.

  • Rock Baker

    Makes me wish WE had a way to sleep suspended in the air, I mean! The last thing I want is flying poisonous spiders!

  • It wouldn’t break me. I’d just stick out my tongue, squint one eye and go “Gahhhhhhhh!” a lot. Also, I might at time close my eyes like a little girl.

  • Ericb
  • zombiewhacker

    Does Kingdom of the Spiders still hold up after all these years? I haven’t seen it ages.

    I know Shatner was set to direct KOTS 2, but then Arachnophobia got greenlighted, and Shatner’s project was shelved indefinitely.

  • Rock Baker

    I’d say it holds up great, but I might not be the best yardstick for something like that. It was a well-crafted film to start with, so it holds up alot better than most of its contemporaries. You may think otherwise when you see it again.

  • Flangepart

    Fiddleback spider. If Sy-Fy used ’em, I see a giant spider that plays ‘Devil went down to Georga’ on the violin before it chomps on “them durn yankees”

    And yes, I’d love to see KOTS 2. We NEED the Shat trying to act serious for once. Thats as funny as his comedy schtick.

  • Rock Baker

    I think Bill might be a bit too round these days to play Rack Hanson again. I love the guy, but he knows enough to have turned down the last offer he got to play Kirk because there’s a point where you can no longer accept seeing him as Kirk. He’s one of those guys I think get’s picked on a little too much, given he’s always first to poke fun at himself.

    I didn’t even know there were plans for a sequel, but I had considered doing one! I was going to call mine Planet of the Spiders.

  • zombiewhacker

    I wish some critics would realize that if Shatner was truly a bad an actor as he is (unfairly) made out to be, Kirk wouldn’t have become the icon he is today.

    Too hammy at times? Absolutely. But at other times his Kirk was pitch perfect.

  • Kirk

    Spiders are the only legitimate reason to keep a home defense shotgun loaded with birdshot.

  • P Stroud

    Why do so many people pick on Shatner? There are far far worse actors out there making huge bucks… like Matthew McConaughey for instance. Is it because of the rumors that he was an @sshole on the Star Trek set? Even if that’s true it’s nothing out of the ordinary. I think Bill is a nice man and he managed to bounce back from that horrible tragedy of his wife’s suicide. Good for him.

  • Flangepart

    P Stroud- Not to say I disagree with you. Shatner will always be my Favorite Starship captain. I could except him as a C.O.
    Bill does have a sense of fun. His turn in AIRPLANE 2 was one of the best parts of that thing.

  • The Rev.

    Ken: What makes you think you’d be in a position to close your eyes, should I decide that I must break you?…Oh wait, I forgot to mention that the movie will also have hippies. Does that help?

    Ericb: Yeah, I’m aware of the spiders in the Land of Death. I’ve a feeling I’d be a bit more jumpy around any I saw there. Of course, that goes for just about every critter there. Things that I normally wouldn’t think twice about (snakes, ants, etc.) would probably have me running away in a shrieking panic over there.

    zombiewhacker: I hadn’t seen KotS since I was a kid, and when I watched it again last year I found it quite good. Sadly, the all-too-real slaughter of the spiders at the end means I’ll probably never be able to watch it again.