Monster of the Day #3479

Yes, I can see you have a whistle. Show me how you're going to blow it.

Tonight's blue-ray feature was "The Game" a/k/a "The Cold" a/k/a "One of the Dumbest Films You'll Ever See if You're Unucky." Another feature directed, shot and edited by Bill Rebane. Honestly, Arrow Video should pay people to get this box set rather than charge them.

Anyway, this one is kind of a stupid horror-comedy, about some old people playing a reality game with some young people, with the prize of a million dollars. As it unfolds, there are all kinds of switcheroos that mean nothing and get retcommed out anyway. It's never funny and never scary. There's a scene where "The Giant Spider Invasion" plays on a TV but we can't see any of it because, I guess, he didn't have the rights or otherwise didn't know what to do. The latter is probably accurate.

There is an interesting dream sequence, which…okay, someone puts a snake in the swimming pool, and a lady dreams that she goes into the pool and is attacked, but–I mean, she doesn't ever go into the pool except in the dream. She wakes up screaming. She had no idea the snake was there, but I guess her dream did. It's idiotic, but at least interestingly filmed. Too bad it contributes nothing at all to the narrative. Which, to be fair, neither does any other scene in this film.

The one distinction this film has, is that it has a Historic Bill Rebane AHA Moment, when he decided to include tits. And that's it.

Probably Polygrip.