Next up, circa 1:30 AM, was The Children. I guess the film it’s closest to in tone is Incredible Melting Man, although for some reason, it doesn’t seem as mean-spirited. Which is weird, because it’s pretty brutal. I guess it comes off more as goofy than mean. A school bus drive through a radioactive cloud the kids become gleeful radioactive zombies who fry their parents to death (pretty gruesomely) by hugging them. Why? Uh, reasons. Great Movie Logic: You can’t shoot them to death, but because their power is in their hands (as evidenced by black fingernails) you can kill them by cutting off their hands. Needless to say, this comes off as inadvertently funny. This was on my “to review” list for years, but I just never got around to it.
Man, the French can make anything look good.
