Monster of the Day #3236

I went to look up the chopped up version of this puppy on Youtube as advised and somehow managed to find the uncut version. I dunno how I did it. I’ve got something like the Medusa Touch, only instead of being able to cause tragedy without thinking about it I find nudity without really trying hard.

(This, incidentally, is not a joke. My parents were amazed by this ability. They’d be watching a film that had no signs of ever having nudity and the moment I walked into the room there’d be a hot and heavy sex scene.

(As another example, once I opened up a Role Playing Game module in the middle of a Kroch’s and Brentano’s and found a Penthouse Magazine between the pages.

(You’d have thought this would have made my teenage years a blast. Nothing doing. I was a full on Puritan. Found it annoying, to be honest.

(Now that I’ve turned into a bonified Dirty Old Man, the ability has, of course, dried up. Movies you’d think are going to be spicy turn out absolutely tame. Crying shame, that’s what it is.

(What was I talking about before this digression?

(Oh yes. Orgy of the Dead. For some reason.)

The copy dips out on the sound on occasion, no doubt to hide the film from YouTube. Still, I’m not paying for it and that’s the thing. I recently bought the Blu Ray for Cathy’s Curse and the sting is making me…

Sorry. Sorry. Another digression.

I watched about fifteen minutes of Orgy of the Dead before something more important took me away from it (I know! I need to reconsider some life choices.) That’s really not enough time to fully judge a film, but my feeling is that this isn’t that bad a flick.

I don’t mean to imply it’s good. Everything is static and boring. Wooden planks could be inserted instead of actors and no one would notice the difference. The dancing can be considered dancing. So on and so forth.

But in comparison to far too many of the films I’ve seen, it’s not that bad. So far the plot (laugh along with me) is far more coherent than a lot of grade Z. The actors (I slander the word) aren’t currently hateful. If you’re into nudity for nudity’s sake, there’s worse ways of watching it. And better ways, natch.

It could take a nose dive later in the run time, but right now it’s a horrible flick that I’ll no doubt forget about not long after watching. I’ve done worse harm to myself.

Well, you’ve always had a talent for disaster. I agree, though, the film is oddly charming. And dude, go back and check out the Cat Dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was recently watching the Rifftrax version of “Fist of Fury” and there is a scene of a geisha stripper. I was teleported back to a drive-in showing in the 70s and being made to cover my eyes.

I know he wrote his spiels in Plan 9, but yeah, I’m not sure he was as invested in this enough to do the same. However, if anyone’s prose could be confused with Wood’s, Criswell is that person.