T-Fest Open Post…

I will only be able to show up for the evening. See you there!

Wow- you guys even get to see a Carrot Top movie? The jealousy, it burns. ;)

Have a great one!

I wanna see “dinner”

Spelling corrections (because I’m a busybody): it’s “Dirty Love” and “Chairman of the Bored”

I usually lament that I always seem to be out of town during T-Fest (not sure how it works out that way, either) but this lineup looks too painful for me in any case. The Hottie and the Nottie? Ouch, my brain meats.

Mr Rational: That would be the whole point, yes.

Believe me, if I thought that’d be the line-up, I’d have to bail. Jesus.

My insider ninjas have actually provided me with one movie to be played Saturday, and I thought about posting a list that had it stashed in there. However, said movie is made of pure AWESOME, and anyone who hasn’t seen it before needs to go in cold so they can just let the Art wash over them.

We usually start around 10 a.m.; I haven’t heard otherwise for this one.

I believe the address is:

1751 International Pkwy, Suite 115
Richardson, TX 75081

Reed doesn’t live in Soviet Russia…

I liked Master of Disguise. Yes, I was that one person. Too bad it looked like they edited the hell out of it because there were a lot of routines in the end credits that weren’t from the movie.

Turtle!

Marsden: You’re one of two, actually. I have a friend who likes it. He also likes Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and Undercover Brother. I mean, genuinely likes them. He brought the latter two to various movie nights we had.

I had to question our friendship after that.

Though not as hard as I did with the other friend who brought J-Men Forever! and said beforehand that it was awesome.

If I had to hazard a guess Rock (I’m not an insider either) the actual list is kept under lock and key until the fest starts. This allows for maximum audio-visual torture to as many fest-goer’s as possible.

The fake lists are just a one up contest to see who can frighten as many people as possible with their sheer unadulterated badness.

Mind I could be totally wrong. But I bet I’m not far off.

Those lists are so bad they make sharks punch themselves.

Thanks, John! That makes sense (to a point, I’ve seen one or two pretty decent titles slip in there from time to time). It just seems so random. I kept waiting for someone to pair Vampire Circus with Prehistoric Women (1950)!

I think I was the first person to start the mock lists. Usually the lists have some theme, like all Coleman Francis movies or something. Anyway, the real, honest-to-goddess list of movies we showed at T-Fest this year was:

THE DEADLY MANTIS which had radar and the March of Evolution which apparently goes Squid – Dinosaur – Human. I was convinced.

THE LOST EMPIRE in which I think at least one girl showed a little cleavage.

BATMAN TV show, episode 1, where he dances the Batusi and Jill St. John is in thrall to the Riddler.

ULTRAMAN episode 14 featuring the terrifying Blowhole Monster Gamakurjira who eats pearls, threatening the girl Science Patrol with increased prices for her jewelry (I kid not).

SH! THE OCTOPUS the scariest movie my dad ever saw when he was 10 years old. The most frightening part was that they weren’t comic relief – they were the stars! (bum bum BUMMMM)

DARK INTRUDER – a TV pilot with Leslie Neilson as a 1890 psychic investigator. Not bad.

JIMMY THE BOY WONDER which turned out to be a real crowd-pleaser. The Rev especially enjoyed himself, laughing at all the jokes, and singing along with the songs. He’ll probably claim different in this blog, just to be contrarian though.

SHORTS – I brought a passel of shorts, such as the Flying Fairy Sexfest from Chinese Torture Chamber Story, and the climactic battle from Rampage. Also we watched the Jilla-Jalla Jellyfish, and other wonders.

THE MIGHTY GORGA which was 90 minutes of build-up to a really good punchline.

I’m doing this offhand so I think I forgot something and I do not promise I am listing them in the right order. But someone will soon do a real writeup, I’m sure.

Also on Thursday Galaxy Jane and her husband came to my place and were rewarded with a showing of CURSE OF BIGFOOT. When they returned on Friday night to partay with the Drauts and Ken they brought me a prayer stick as a gift. Thanks, Jane!

On Friday night the Drauts, Galaxy Janes, Ken, Black Chad, and a nice girl named Sarah watched a movie with a really handsome and talented executive producer, and earlier I showed them THE VINEYARD, the James Hong showpiece that I yanked at the last minute to replace with JIMMY THE BOY WONDER. It had to be done, though. I admit there was collateral damage.

Saturday before the Drauts left, I showed them the first episode of Bonekickers, a BBC show about hip archeologists and Patty is now a big fan. We learned that “Faith is the gunpowder of history.” Which kind of ignores the fact that secular governments, for secular reasons, killed more people in the last 100 years than all the religious wars since time began. But I digress.

Ken is now sitting in my office watching Beast of Blood. Yesterday he saw THE STUFF and Q. Can you believe he’d never seen those? What a rube.

Oh, and Sandy forgot Mighty Inframan, or something like that. It was, as the Rev. suggested, one of the most wonderful things to ever come out of China. Possibly excluding Chinese Torture Chamber Story. Different strokes and all that.

How Sandy forgot one of the greatest movies of all time (that being Super Inframan), I can’t tell you.

Reed: That was spearmint. Just as I was taking a sip and wondering why it seemed so odd, I looked at the sign announcing that that tap had spearmint root beer in it. It wasn’t bad, although oddly I found it a much better compliment to my food than I did on its own. However, I preferred the plain old root beer without extra flavoring, which they had in a different tap.

Ken, Sandy, et al: So sorry I didn’t join you on Sunday. I ran my errands in the morning so I could have them out of the way, and was rewarded with a pounding headache that took me down for the rest of the afternoon. Hopefully I can join you next time. I haven’t seen Beast of Blood or The Stuff. I have seen Q, which was pretty great.

Gun rules? Sandy…this is TEXAS. :)

Yeah, I was mostly joking. I’m quite happy to reside in a state that treats gun ownership like a serious matter…and where most of the state’s citizens hold both gun rights and gun responsibilities in high esteem.

That would be…Texas. :)

Let’s see, what would my threat list be….

Sin You Sinners
Snow Falling on Cedars
Monster of Camp Sunshine
Big Bad Wolf
Hatchet
The Sex Killer
Wham! Bam! Thank you, Spaceman!
Butterfly

Token Good Movie (most lists seem to have one for some reason): The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance