Monster of the Day #165

Updated on December 28, 2010 By Ken Begg 25 Comments

A scene from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “Teenagers from Outer Space.”

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  • Ericb

    Wouldn’t a giant lobster on land be about as dangerous as a beached whale?

  • Um…what is this from?

  • No idea. I just found it on the web and it was neat.

    Eric: It does seem to have feet or something, though.

  • Ericb

    Ken, yeah, but it’s designed to move about underwater so I doubt it would have the strength to do anything more than drag itself very sssslllllooooowwwwwwly. Plus it wouldn’t be able to breath. Still, it is a cool picture.

  • Using that logic, the Deadly Mantis wouldn’t even be able to fly! And it can! So there!

  • Ericb

    And don’t forget the Giant Mountain Octopus from Frankenstein Conquers the World.

  • roger h

    A pair of giant rubberbands and he would be quickly under control.

  • monoceros4

    “Wouldn’t a giant lobster on land be about as dangerous as a beached whale?”

    It’s not a lobster, silly, it’s a Gorgan. Sure they look exactly the same but they’re totally different.

  • fish eye no miko

    “What do you think about that, Watson?”
    “I think we’re going to need a lot more butter, Holmes.”
    “Hmmm… quite.”

  • Rock Baker

    Oh, don’t be silly! Every five year old child knows that larger versions of normal animals are mutations with bodies that have adapted to greater scale, providing proper mobility and survival functions. Plus, they’re usually bulletproof. In the end, a mammoth lobster on the loose is a living nightmare! (Science always sucks the fun out of ideas like this. C’mon, giant monsters are supposed to be fun!)

  • Ericb

    I don’t know, I kind of categorize lobsters along with rabbits, chickens and puppies as rather non-scary animals even when embiggened. For me a general rule is that if something makes for a good meal for humans a larger version just means extra helpings.

  • Rock Baker

    You eat puppies? Where do you live? Korea?

  • Ericb

    Well, I love unicorn veal marinated in puppy tears.*

    *with thanks to the Agony Booth website for that joke

  • The Rev.

    This drawing is actually much scarier than the Gargon. Mostly because the picture can’t make an annoying screech.

    Of cousre, the Gargon had a better mode of transportation: it could slide around on its tail, because that’s totally how it moves, and it was totally not a dead lobster someone was moving around with their hand or a string.

    *cough*

  • Rock Baker

    I don’t think it was dead. Seems like it was still squirming.

  • to be fair insects, arachnids, and other arthropods are all able to move around perfectly fine on land, so there is no reason a land lobster couldn’t exist. And even a live lobster can survive in the air for quite a while before suffocating – hours, really. If it had a few modifications like land crabs (which are very close relatives of lobsters) there’s no problems. Add a screech mechanism and a very long string to pull it,and presto you’ve got a Gargon.

  • Why are giant lobsters so much less terrifying than most other giant arthropods? I mean, giant crabs are scary, as are centipedes,and even ants. But lobsters? No frisson of fear.

  • The Rev.

    Rock: It’d entail my watching it again, but I recall much of my humor coming from the fact that, for the scenes it’s moving around on its tail, it’s not moving its legs or anything.

  • Rock Baker

    It seems likely that the critter died during filming, so we could both be right about what we saw. And now that I reflect a little more, it DID seem rather limp in a scene or two, but these shots were mixed with footage of a rather more active lobster. Still, other than pinching, they don’t do just a whole lot while above water.

    Even within my rather forgiving supension of disbelief, I have trouble figuring out why/how the Gargon moves around on its tail like that. It would seem Gargons have pogo-tails.

  • sandra

    The picture looks like a combination lobster -spider-platypus, so I nominate it be called The Lobspipus.

  • The Rev.

    Rock: More like rollertails. Or maybe hovertails.

  • Rock Baker

    Maybe that’s what makes Gargons different from Lobsters, Gargons have thousands of hair-like legs on the tips of their tails which allow them to scurry about at full speed while standing erect. How they ever get into a standing position is still a mystery, however…

  • Marsden

    Maybe it generates a bouyant gas, like hydrogen, and this allows the creature to actually weigh much less than assumed. I must occasionally vent the gas making the screech.

    Do you think we’ve put way more thought into this on this page alone than the film makers?

  • Rock Baker

    Not until we figure out how come the invaders use scientific equipment that weirdly mirrors our own Army surpluss equipment….

  • The Rev.

    Marsden: Oh, most definitely.

    Frankly, I’d like a gun that removes all flesh but leaves an entirely intact and held-together skeleton. I’d make a killing in the medical supply business!

    I’ll just make sure not to name it Uneeda…