Monster of the Day #152

Updated on December 9, 2010 By Ken Begg 20 Comments

Here’s a question: Why can’t the SyFy Network make movies as entertaining as this? I mean, really, that’s not setting the bar very high, is it?

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  • Ericb

    There was still an element of indivisuality in the production of tv movies (actually movies in general) in the 70s. Modern SyFy fare is turned out by a factory. It’s the difference between an individual entrepreneur willing to take a chance for the possibliity of greater profit and an risk averse boardroom who just want to turn out product with the least amount of effort possible.

  • Ericb

    I mean, really, it takes balls to merely get up the gumption to proprose to a third party making a movie about a vampire dog much less actually making one.

  • I still think “giant killer rabbits” takes that cake, but yes.

  • Ericb

    Oh, and if anyone from SyFy is readin this blog I’ve got an idea:

    Dracula’s Dog vs. Bionic Dog

  • Ericb

    Of course someone would have the bright idea to Twilightize the vampire dog and make it into an emo vampire. What breed would that be, a Cocker Spaniel?

  • BeckoningChasm

    “Mega Vampire Shark vs. Bionic Piranha.”

  • fish eye no miko

    @BeckoningChasm: …I might actually watch that movie.

  • Gamera

    I’m still waiting for the sequal: ‘Dracula’s Dog Meets Frankenstein’s Ferret’…

  • P Stroud

    Why can’t they? Probably for the same reason that they canceled MST3K even though at the time it was their highest rated show. Some exec didn’t like the 2 hour format. Or in other words stupidity.

  • Gamera

    Yes, I can’t argue, I stopped watching Sci-Fi when it seemed almost all their ‘original’ movies were written by formula. Aka:

    Evil US goverment guy (US Army general, CIA spook, evil scientist) Ed Evilguy creates a monster (werewolf, dragon, giant spider, alien) as a bioweapon and it gets loose in (secret military base, submarine, moon base) which looks a great deal like the basement of a hydroelectric plant.

    So it’s up to Bruce Beefcake (cop, firefighter, ex-military) and Donna D-cup (reporter, undergrad, Ed Evilguy’s niece) to stop the monster. But it’s immune to bullets! So our heroic twosome will have to (poison it, drown it, shoot it in a weak point) in order to stop it.

    Maybe they’re better now, I dunno. Haven’t watched anything on the SFC in over five years now.

  • It’s certainly possible for a factory to turn out individual work (look at Roger Corman’s output, or the Hong Kong flicks of the 80s and 90s, which were totally studio-driven). the first thing you need though is some kind of spark or talent which apparently the SFC lacks.

    Heck, I watched Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl last week, a brand-new Japanese movie. The title writes the movie.

  • Rock Baker

    Can you believe I haven’t seen Dracula’s Dog yet? Actually, I need to do quite a bit of catching up on 70s killer dog genre titles!

    Before they can start cranking out fun B pictures, SciFi has to hire new people from the ground up. I stopped watching a long time ago. Do they still show those cartoon giant snake movies every other weekend?

  • Elizabeth

    Ericb, that would be a Sparkledog! (ads NSFW)

  • sandra

    I think Dracula’s Dog Vs The Cat of Frankenstein would be more fun.:-)

  • zombiewhacker

    I still say Dog Soldiers was the best movie Sci-Fi never made.

  • joliet jake blues

    Clark Ashton Smith wrote a short story back in the 50’s which you could summarise as werewolf vs robot.

    Now, proposing to do that with dogs…genius.

    Or monkeys…everything’s better with monkeys.

  • BeckoningChasm

    So, Joliet, that might be

    “Mega Cannibal Vampire Dogs vs. Giant Werewolf Bio-Monkeys.”

    …sigh. No one from Sci Fi has bought my ideas. I’m just going to have to inflict them, endlessly, at Ken et al during B-Fest 2011.

  • Petoht

    This flick was a whole bag of stupid, but it was also a lot of fun. Ken’s review (er, “nugget”) summed it up nicely. My wife thought I was nuts getting it from Netflix, though.

    As for SyFy… I have to admit, some of their names are awesome. I mean, Mansquito? That title’s gold.

  • The Rev.

    My understanding is that Mansquito is one of the few Siffy movies to actually be kind of decent, or at least pleasantly bad. I haven’t caught it yet, though. But yes, the title’s pretty great.

    As for titles, I personally like Sharktopus and Grizzly RAAAAAAAGE~!!!

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