One reason the blogger thing won’t go away is that the press tends to get basic things wrong all the time.* I think everyone has had the experience of reading a story on a subject they have in-depth knowledge on, and going, “Nope, that’s wrong.” Oddly, we seldom seem to extrapolate from that to the idea that the press might be getting lots of stuff wrong, from patently bogus documents being used to attack a sitting President during an election, to…well, to a list of bad movie sequels.
[*Plus the mass media coverage is insufferably shallow. Check the Supreme Court coverage from your local paper or TV station to the articles found at SCOTUSblog.com. Indepth coverage and analysis of the issues and arguments before the court, written in punchy and easily understandable prose, and all actually looking purely at the legal issues involved, rather than what special interest groups have “won” and “lost,” as if these cases aren’t about constitutional provenance, but instead are a horserace. Not interested in the law? There’s an informative and smartly written blog out there on about any topic you can think of. And it’s all free.]I don’t expect a mass market magazine like Entertainment Weekly to consult any of the folks who run the vast number of really good bad movie and b-movie websites out there, even when they attempt to construct a list of bad sequels…yet. Even so, EW‘s March 10th list of the 25 Worst Sequels ever is pretty embarrassingly bad. So maybe the day will come when the press routinely looks to the Internet for a readily available pool of expert opinions.
Let’s take a look:
25: The Matrix Reloaded. Eh. OK, it was definitely a let-down. I’ll give them a flyer on that one.
24: The Next Karate Kid. Really? The Next Karate Kid?! Was that a particularly worse sequel than, say, The Karate Kid Part III? And, in a theme that will be recurring in this critique, was The Karate Kid itself really good enough that a failed sequel to it could be one of the worst in film history?
23: Porky’s II: The Next Day. Again, what a let down from the original Porky’s.
22: Teen Wolf II. Ditto.
21: Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde. Ditto, ditto. And one problem with such film lists is that recent movies tend to be overemphasized. I mean, a year from now, who will remember this? And if something like this can make the grade, why is it worse than, say, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous?
20: The Godfather III. Eh, I wouldn’t pick it, but it does fall far from the first two, so I won’t argue with it.
19: Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise. Seriously, WTF?
18: Battle for the Planet of the Apes: Really?
17: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier: Finally, the first obviously just correct choice. Should have been higher, but you can’t argue with this infamous turkey being on the list.
16: Ocean’s Twelve: Huh? I have no idea why this is here. It wasn’t that bad. And I’m not the only one who thought so. It has a 55% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but hardly a ‘worse sequel of all time’ rating.
15: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd. Whatever. Why not Son of Mask?
14: Conan the Destroyer: Good pick, you morons. A rare sequel that’s better than the first film, and you call it one of the worst sequels ever.
13: The Sting II: Definitely. Very good call. (The second such out of the first 13 selections.)
12: Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. I guess.
11: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Really?
10: Jaws the Revenge. Obviously. Call good, although it should be higher.
9: Speed 2: Cruise Control. A solid if not spectacular choice. Should be lower though. Speed 2 is a worse sequel than Jaws the Revenge?
8: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Really?
7: The Fly II. C’mon, it’s not that bad. Lame, at best. And again, worse than Jaws the Revenge?
6: Weekend at Bernie’s II. Now we’re in the realm of idiots.
5: Batman & Robin. Can’t argue with that, should be lower, though.
4: Blues Brothers 2000. Yep. An atrocious movie.
3: Leprechaun: Back 2 the Hood. Yes, a huge let down from a previously brilliant series. (Rolls eyes.)
2: Caddyshack II: OK, but nowhere near the second worst sequel ever. At 25-20, maybe.
1: Staying Alive. OK, I’ll accept that, although I’d personally put it lower.
Anyway, not only is the inclusion of a number of these films way off, and the ratings more than a bit suspect, but a number of the top five worst sequels ever aren’t even mentioned: Exorcist 2: The Heretic (should be #1, not even on the list), Highlander 2: The Quickening (should be #2…beaten by friggin’ Weekend at Bernie’s II). The Trial of Billy Jack! Rocky 4! Death Wish 3! King Kong Lives! Superman IV: The Quest for Peace! All those are better sequels than Ocean’s 12?!
Meanwhile, if you’re going to include horror sequels, how about ones that disgraced great movies? Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf. Now those are bad sequels. Including movies from the Friday the 13th and Leprechaun series, meanwhile, is retarded.
Horrible article. And there’s even an equally bad sidebar. The 10 Best Sequels are given, films purportedly even better than the first ones. Well, For a Few Dollars More is not even a sequel to A Fistful of Dollars, it’s an unrelated film. And despite their lame protests, Silence of the Lambs is not a sequel to Manhunter, even if both feature Hannibal Lector. Finally, I’m sorry, but Terminator 2 is not a better movie than the first Terminator.
