Trailer Watch: GI Joe The Rise of Cobra

Updated on May 4, 2009 By Ken Begg 25 Comments

OK, I really had zero interest in seeing this, largely because it is based on a cartoon I never watched. Plus it’s directed by Stephen Sommers, who’s been in a directorial death spiral since his enjoyable first major film. (I’m not the only one who thinks so; notice how the trailer says “From the director of The Mummy…”, made ten years ago, and NOT “From the Director of Van Helsing…”)

Still, this trailer struck me as retarded in a GOOD way, as if the movie is an attempt to remake MegaForce but do it right. I’m not saying I’ll be rushing out to see it the first weekend (I’m a bit cranky and old for that sort of action much anymore), but at least now there’s a chance I’ll see it.

Note the trendy ripping-off of Iron Man, by the way. Mmmm, that’s good pandering.

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  • Joe11

    After this trailer, I still have no interest in this movie. I’m really frustrated & disappointed with this since GI Joe was my 2nd favorite cartoon of the 80’s (Transformers #1).

    Whenever I see the Eiffel Tower collasping from that “evil” green goop, I think of that scene from Team America. It just comes off as ridiculous & cheesy.

    Next, do the Joes really need those “Accelarator Suits”? In the cartoon, they had all these fancy, high-tech planes, tanks, boats, & weaponry to fight Cobra with. Did the producers think that wasn’t enough(!) so they decided to include the Ironman ripoff suits so the Joes could perform outdated Matrix moves? Finally, casting Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander was the final nail in the coffin for me. Shouldn’t someone who is the leader of a world-wide terrorist organization be over 35 years old?

  • I did get the feeling that knowing nothing about the cartoon show was probably an advantage in this case. Everyone I know about the show (not much) is from watching Robot Chicken.

  • BT

    I might also add that the Mummy wasn’t Sommers first movie, nor was it his only enjoyable one. Opinions vary, but I absolutely loved “Deep Rising”. Yes Van Helsing blew, and the second Mummy movie wasn’t anything special, but essentially in major motion pictures, Sommers is batting .500. That’s better than a lot of directors.

  • That’s true, I should have said “first major film.” [Corrected.] The problem isn’t Sommers’ batting average, it’s that his films have been going reliably downhill since The Mummy ten years ago. Van Helsing was atrocious.

  • I guess I’m too old to appreciate G.I.Joe. To me, G.I. Joe will always be the vintage foot-high dolls from the 1969s. I thought those were cool back in the day, which immunized me against the revamping of the character as a comic-book hero.

  • Sandy Johnson is right! Give me a movie about a GI Joe with a beard and Kung Fu Grip, and I’m there.

  • Ericb

    My G.I. Joe didn’t even have kung-fu grip, his hands were permanently frozen for rifle firing. My older brothers G.I. Joe was an actual G.I., with an olive drab uniformm,helmet and plastic short hair, none of that hippie beard stuff.

  • Uh, oh, it’s an Old Skool GI Joe Throwdown!

  • BeckoningChasm

    Actually, it looks like a live-action “Team America.”

    Edit: As Joe11 already said…

  • GalaxyJane

    I have such mixed feelings about this one. As a fan of the cartoons and an official cranky conservative military girl, I was immediately turned off the second it was reported that they had changed the Joe team from “Real American Heroes” into some sort of UN elite force. But at the same time the trailer makes it look like a lot of fun and I have been a Chris Eccleston fan since “28 Days Later,” even if I’m not sure I see him as Destro.

    In all honesty, when I saw the first trailer (during the Super Bowl, I think…) I was super excited at the prospect of a new cheesy actioner with one of my favorite actors, until I realised what it was. Then I just sort of felt disillusioned.

  • Plissken79

    As a military brat, and as someone who grew up on the 1980s GI Joe cartoon and comics (which are substantially different from each other), I am looking forward to this film, as long as we get “The Mummy” and “Deep Rising” Sommers, not “Van Helsing” Sommers.

    Besides, this is an origin story, so Cobra Commander’s age (or the actor who plays him) does not bother me that much, of course, Chris Latta will alwaysssssssssss be considered the only real Cobra Commander. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow look close to their comic book versions as well, which is a plus.

    Larry Hama (the creator of the GI Joe comic, where the bullets are real and people die) has remained substantially involved in the film, so hopefully that should guarantee the film will not suck.

  • The Rev. D.D.

    Never got into the cartoon, but I did enjoy the comic. Also had my first run-in with parental censorship with it, after mistakenly reading an issue to my sister out loud and within Mom’s earshot–it happened to include Mutt (I think that was his name) watching Dreadnok Buzzer slash his dog with his ‘saw (the dog lived). Luckily Dad went over it and decided it was all right.

    Can’t really get into that trailer; as many have pointed out, those suits reek of Iron Man, and it just seems like another big dumb action movie (and not of the fun type). I am willing to give Gordon-Levitt the benefit of the doubt, as he’s proven a pretty talented actor of late; still, seeing him as C.C. just doesn’t sit well.

    And who is playing the Baroness? Yowza!

  • tim

    the baroness is sienna miller. her most prominent role to date has been Generic British Bad Girl Celebrity, in every gossip mag printed in the last 3 years

  • MatthewF

    Re. American heroes becoming some kind of UN force.

    Outside of America, or at least in the UK, GI Joe is called Action Man (the foor high version) and Action Force (for the little starwars like figures). In fact I had no idea that GI Joe was the same as my Action Man until I was an adult, so I don’t know if this rebranding is some sort of halfway house towards selling it internationally.

    As noted with the Team America comments, having characters blow sh*t up real good in the name of American democracy isn’t necessarily going to play too well in all those vital overseas markets.

  • Tork_110

    I love watching the extras trying to outrun the Eiffel Tower. It’s like some goofy exercise program on a Star Trek holodeck.

  • Joe11

    Plissken79:
    We agree on 1 thing: Chris Latta will always be considered the real C.C. (and StarScream). He voiced the 2 most entertaining villians of 80’s toons. If I had the power of resurrection, he would be in the top 5 of who I would bring back. You see how messed up my values are!

    Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow do look cool but I get the feeling their big ninja showdown will involve a lot of unnecessary slo-mo Matrix stuff.

    Levitt may be a talented actor but he looks like he’s still in his early 20’s. I’ll change my question from my 1st comment & say a leader of a worldwide terrorist organization shouldn’t look like he belongs in a college dorm. I’ll just rent this one.

  • Solid Jake

    The movie seems like it’s elements of the comic and cartoon combined to create something not quite as good as either–like it’s simultaneously trying to be campy and dramatic and it’s just not working at all. For example I’m pretty sure I was supposed to think the battle suits were badass instead of retarded. (Credit where it’s due: Dennis Quaid as Gen. Hawk is friggin’ inspired.)

    On another note, I actually watched my old Joe cartoon DVDs recently, and to me they actually still hold up surprisingly well. It’s much better written than you’d expect a half-hour toy commercial to be, and even the dumb episodes tend to still be amusing.

    I was also impressed that one of the PSAs had Flint tell kids to think for themselves and not follow the crowd during the height of the groupthink insanity that plauged cartoons back then.

  • “…like it’s simultaneously trying to be campy and dramatic and it’s just not working at all.”

    See, I told you it looked like a remake of MegaForce.

  • Plissken79

    Again, I fully concede this film could be lousy, but the trailers have potential. Let’s see in August.

    I agree, Solid Jake, the 80s GI Joe cartoons hold up fairly well, especially the first season and the three mini-series; the second season, with that lame new villian Serpentor and the ridiculous movie with Cobra-La, not so much. I love the opening narration in intro as well, especially the description of Cobra as a “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world” That tells you all you need to know, and reminds me of a certain terrorist organization active today…..

    Still, the comics were a bit better, (I like Cobra Commander more as a deadly megalomaniac than a hooded Yosemite Sam) although Larry Hama started spending so much time on ninjas that Marvel had to pull him back a bit.

  • Only one person commented on the Baroness? That shot of her whipping her jacket off pretty much guarantees a ticket purchase from me.

    I was never into GI Joe outside of the Baroness… looks like some things never change.

  • GalaxyJane

    Nah, I always wantied to be Lady Jaye, so I could have Flint :)

  • The Rev. D.D.

    It’s those naughty librarian glasses that give Baroness the advantage over Scarlett and Lady Jaye.

    This is pretty much a proven formula. For example:

    Tina Fey=hot. Tina Fey with the glasses=hotter.

    See? SCIENCE!! Just look at my flasks full of mysterious, bubbling colored fluids!

    Unless I hear it’s a huge fiasco, I’m thinking rental at most (although not guaranteed…I still haven’t gotten around to Transformers.)

  • Grumpy

    The problem with “accelerator suits” isn’t that they’re Iron Man rip-offs. After all, GI JOE has always been about cutting-edge military technology, and the 1980s version gave it a sci-fi boost — jet packs & laser guns VS disintegrators and mind control. As such, “accelerator suits” enable the movie to show hyperbolic military action beyond what you might see in an ordinary thriller.

    No, the reason “accelerator suits” are wrong is because of the exchange in the trailer: “What does it accelerate?” “You!” See, that undercuts the idea that the Joes are trained experts, if they have to be told what their equipment does. (Possibly excused as this is an origin story.)

    I wonder how realistic Cobra will be, now that audiences are more savvy about terrorist organization. Cobra, as conceived by Hama, was always a hodgepodge of Brownshirts, Mafia, Hell’s Angels, ninja clans, and jihadists (before they were fashionable). The cartoon showed them mounting full-scale military maneuvers the likes of which Denmark or Costa Rica couldn’t afford. That will look silly in an age of IEDs and box cutters.

  • tim

    you know, I always wondered where cobra got their funding from. especially considering they always lost. plus, they had those terrordromes, which were basically dome stadiums with gun emplacements. how do you build one of those in secret?

  • The Rev. D.D.

    They probably took over contracts for building sports stadiums. Then, all the sudden on opening day, the damn thing rolls off, guns blazing.