Chicago is one of the few towns that still has two major newspapers. (Although at one time I think we had eight or ten…seriously.) I’ve always been a Chicago Tribune man, to the extent that I read a newspaper (mostly during Cubs season). The Trib has a lot of flaws, but very often the Sun-Times reaffirms my choice.
Today’s front page consisted of a picture of a guy with his very small dog that ate up a good third of the available page. This referenced a story about people unhappy with leash laws. Meanwhile, in a column over to the right, were blurbs about two actual news stories, one about a (surprise) state political scandal and another about the latest in a seemingly never ending line of faked ‘hate crimes’ perpetrated at some college. Amusingly, this little headline was marked with a boxed logo announcing it to be “NEWS”, a tacit admittal to the fact that most of the front page wasn’t.
What really drew my attention, however, were two photo-accompanied headlines at the top of the page. One hinted at ‘proof’ of, I guess, Brad Pitt and Angelina Joile’s affair (of course, since they are famous, they didn’t use the stars’ full names, but instead offered something like “The Truth About Brad & Angelina?”).
Even more depressing, over to the left of that was a headline promising “Face Time with Paris Hilton”, and something like “She talks about life, love, and the pain of being a movie star”.
Which means that, to my surprise, this constituted “NEWS” after all. Paris Hilton is a movie star? Who knew?
Let’s see. She’s fourth billed in the upcoming House of Wax. She played “Female Club-Goer” in The Cat in the Hat. She’s tenth billed in an upcoming National Lampoon movie (and what phrase, “starring Paris Hilton” or “National Lampoon movie” is scarier?). Finally, she actually toplines what appears like it will be an independent 2006 flick called Bottom’s Up. According to the IMDB: “A Midwestern bartender (actor Jason Mewes) ingratiates himself into the Hollywood system, finding love along the way.” The only other name in the cast is Ted Lange, Isaac from The Love Boat, who makes a brief cameo as himself.
Of course, Ms. Hilton has famously starred in other films, but I won’t comment on those.
Moreover, if you get annoyed with my bad writing, imagine paying coin to get stuff like the interview’s opening: “Paris is burning! Except you wouldn’t know it.” Blecch!
Anyway, if you want to read her, er, thoughts on such topics as ex-gal pal Nicole Richie, her death scene in House of Wax, her new best friend (“Oh, I’ve known Kimberly since we were in our mommies’ stomachs”) and new boyfriend (this week’s), also named Paris, check here:
http://www.suntimes.com/output/entertainment/cst-ftr-face27.html
In all, the interview lasts a couple of paragraphs, which makes it’s photo-accompanied appearance on the upper lefthand corner of a major metropolitan newspaper all the more nausiating.
