Monster of the Day #1438

Updated on September 28, 2016 By Ken Begg 20 Comments

It’s Edgar Allan Poe, only with lots of naked boobs! Finally!

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  • I find the thought process behind adapt Horror classics by removing everything that made them classics in the first place deeply interesting. Assuming that’s the right word.

  • Eric Hinkle

    Well, they have to be updated for the modern reader/viewer. After all, it’s not like anyone in real life reads books more than five ears old.

  • bgbear_rnh

    The modern Fortunado is going to need a little more to lure him down to the basement than an old bottle of sherry. Sex sells.

  • Eric Hinkle

    Oh, and my apologies for this VERY off-topic post, but that silly ‘MLP’ comic is doing a storyline based on elections and politics. See, there’s this greedy nasty businessman who’s running against the universally beloved and incredibly capable female mayor, and he wins by making all sorts of outrageous promises, and-and-and…

    Best of all? The writers swear that ‘this is not a comment on real-life events. Hey, we’re totally serial, you guys!’

    Don’t you just love seeing children’s stories being used as hamfisted propaganda?

  • bgbear_rnh

    There is just not enough hours in the school day to do a complete indoctrination.

  • zombiewhacker

    One of the actors in the film is named Clement von Franckenstein. Seriously.

  • What do you mean “finally”. Maniac decided Poe needed boobs way back in the 1930s. And it’s (sadly) still the best Black Cat adaptation we’ve gotten.

  • bgbear_rnh

    There are good radio versions of “The Black Cat”, however, the whole cast could be stark naked and no one would know.

  • The Rev.

    I’m taking a wild stab that this is the Poe movie Jim Wynorski did, The Haunting of Morella, since I can’t think of another Poe movie that would meet Ken’s description. I haven’t seen it. I don’t have much desire to, either.

  • Eric Hinkle

    That’s almost literally how the writer and artist of this story have defended their work in the past. Because non-right wing causes never get a fair hearing in America, so they have to reach the uninformed youth like this.

  • Better than the one in Tales of Terror?

  • Ken_Begg

    But…but…boobs!!

  • Eric Hinkle

    Right now when I want boobs I just go to various websites (other than this one, of course) and listen to the lunacy on display.

  • It’s an election year. Avoiding boobs is the challenge.

  • Eric Hinkle

    Indeed. Oh, BTW, we’re having a major-league Phantom Clown incursion in Southeast Pennsylvania tonight. Most people are staying sane, thankfully, but things are getting wild and weird out there.

  • Ugh, we had the same here a few days ago in Richmond (well, Henrico). We are absolutely living in Heinlein’s “crazy years”.

  • Eric Hinkle

    It gets worse. Apparently some prankster in a clown costume is doing things like hiding by railroad tracks in wooded areas around Gettysburg, waiting for cars to slow or stop, and then racing at them laughing insanely while waving a knife. How long before Bozo gets a buckshot boo-boo?

  • And then it will be the gun’s fault instead of the fault of the idiot who thought it was cute to trespass and commit assault (legally, running after someone with a knife is assault whether you catch and stab them or not, or even whether the knife is real or not).

  • sandra

    The still looks like it comes a from a really low-budget version of Beauty and the Beast.

  • Eric Hinkle

    That storyline I mentioned above ended with the ‘bad guy’ businessman, er, pony winning. And when things don’t magically improve overnight into Utopia, he and everyone else begs the old mayor to take her job back. Which she does, proving that the uppity commoners should never dare to think themselves fit to manage their own lives. What a cheery ending! :P