Monster of the Day #1316

If our previous subject was…impractical, this one is downright ludicrous. How could that thing possibly swim?

  • Gamera977

    They should have went with a head on each end like the pushmepullme two-headed llama critter from Doctor Doolittle.

  • Ericb

    Or one head that housed three tentacles each ending in a smaller shark head ala Tremors.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    “I say kill him!” “Well I say be nice to him!” “What do I think?” “Oh, bite your own head off!” “Yes, do us all a favor!”

    Etc, etc, etc

  • Gamera977

    Or a great white or mako that shoots out of the mouth of a smaller innocent looking nurse or blue shark it was hiding inside of. Like the cat monster in ‘The Uninvited.’ Which I still haven’t seen even though Ken had me with ‘exploding George Kennedy’ in his review.

  • Eric Hinkle

    See, now THAT kind of writing would have made for a much better movie.

  • KeithB

    With the two headed shark I thought we were continuing the theme from the magazine covers. With *three* heads, I am not so sure.

  • SteveWD

    If that thing could actually swim, and that’s a big if….it would probably just kind of bob around like a giant version of one of those goldfish with the really bulbous heads.

  • Flangepart

    I did a script for that kinda thing…involving King Gidora’s cousin Nigel, Trevor and Doug. Think Cleese, Palin and Jones…
    Once you think of three heads arguing with each other, it kinda writes itself!

  • Rock Baker

    Too much is never enough, it seems. Things like this drive home just how sedate the wackiest 70’s or 80’s monster really was….

  • Three headed dogs are scary. Multiple headed snakes are scary. Three headed sharks are just sad.

  • CaptNemo

    The next scene was Quint waking up in a cold sweat. Then laughed his fisherman’s ass off.

  • The Rev.

    I figured he’d go with the sequel today. Just makes sense.

    As previously noted, I haven’t seen it and don’t really want to.

  • CaptNemo

    Imagine if Jabber jaw had 2 extra heads.

    Would he name them Moe and Larry?

  • The Rev.

    I assume we’re talking American and/or movie monsters, since I’m sure you know as well as I do that nothing can really compare to the things Japan came up with for all those “Ultraman” shows, and the various knock-offs of them.

  • Eric Hinkle

    What else? Of course the eye-poking and head-bonking would be rather difficult in that scenario.

  • Gamera977

    ‘YO! Quint, Brody, Hooper! You don’t have to wait your turn anymore, now I can eat you all at once!!!! BAHAHAHAHHA!!!!’

    ‘By the way Brody, you might want to bring TWO EXTRA SCUBA tanks! HAAHHAHA!!!’

  • Eric Hinkle

    Will this be the plot for JAWS 5? One of the original shark’s descendants has itself genetically modified and then travels back in time for revenge on the killers of his ancestor?

  • Gamera977

    Sad to say but I’d watch that…..

    Would it be:

    ‘Jaws V: the Ghidorhing’ or

    ‘Jaws V: Aquatic Teminator’ ? ‘And you thought it was safe to visit the beach Sarah Conner!’

  • Rock Baker

    True, I was thinking mainly of the American movie scene. Yeah, the Japanese do have an edge when it comes to weird monsters. Frankly, this three-headed shark concept wouldn’t have come across quite as insane as it does were it Jap rather than Yank!

  • The Rev.

    “Aquatic Terminator” sounds like some Bruno Mattei movie that rips off Jaws, The Terminator, and Aliens (because he regularly ripped off Aliens and why should this be any different).

  • The Rev.

    Well, the Japanese three-headed shark would probably have extendable necks and fully functional legs (no arms though) and horns and be shooting fire and lasers everywhere, just so it would fit with their aesthetic.