Ringing in the New Year…

OK, I have some ideas for 2013, but I’d love suggestions on what you’d like to see here. Aside from the obvious “Maybe you could actually write some stuff.” Yeah, that would probably be a good idea. Let’s admit it, Monster of the Day has been the only thing keeping the site afloat for the last couple of years.

Be as general or specific as you’d like. Hell, we’ll make it a contest. What movie would you guys like to see me review? I can’t promise what the review will be like, since I don’t know what the movie will be, but field some candidates and we’ll put it up for a vote. Since there’s only like six of you left, you’re vote would have a lot weight.*

[*Suggestions from Kirk Draut and Sandy Petersen may be ignored at the author’s discretion.]

Happy New Year, everyone.

  • Flangepart

    Hummm…
    PACIFIC RIM is an obvious one for us Kaiju fans.
    WRECK-IT RALPH for toons.
    JACK REACHER for Scientologi…for action fans.

  • Ericb

    “Liz and Dick or “The Room”?

  • Ericb

    Oh, and what about Captain Planet and aren’t there a few Challenge of the Super Friends episodes still left?

  • Ken_Begg

    Sadly, given the reception to the thing, I’m not sure Liz & Dick will *ever* get a DVD release. It hasn’t been announced yet, in any case.

  • GalaxyJane

    Off the top of my head, I’d love to see your take on “Never Too Young to Die” and my current fave, “Miami Connection”. Or maybe one of the many, um, lesser, efforts of the great Christopher Lee, “Uncle was a Vampire” anyone?
    I know, I’m a cruel, cruel woman.

  • Gamera977

    Captain Planet Eric, that’s just too cruel! I mean he’s already done three ‘Billy Jack’ movies- how much pain can Ken stand???

    The rest of the Super Friends would be cool, and I wouldn’t mind Ken’s view on the insane Mister T cartoon from the ’80s.

  • Gamera977

    Just off the wall Ken, I have a few favorite monsters I haven’t seen as MotD yet. If I sent you some photos could you use them?

  • Ken_Begg

    Sure!

  • randersonctr

    Hi,Ken, and happy New Year. How about the follow the following movies: The Black Hole from 1979, Space Mutiny, Track of the Moon Beast, The Deadly Bees, or just pick a movie you really want to do. You always pick hilarious subjects for review! I love your site and I hope you find more time to write this year.

  • Mendou

    The Doctor Who TV movie from 1996. Good Doctor, bad plot, and Eric Roberts leaving no set undevoured as The Master.

  • Gamera977

    Cool, will probably get to it this weekend.

  • Would THE BLACK HOLE really be Jabootu material? While a critical failure and an under-performer at the box office, it really isn’t that ‘bad’ of a movie. Were it not for the cartoonish design of the ‘good’ robots, I doubt it would still draw much hatred. I’ve certainly seen worse space operas of the period (STAR ODYSSEY springs right to mind).

  • Happy New Year, Ken! May 2013 be indeed joyful and prosperous!

    As to good review subjects, let’s see…. THE SWAMP OF THE RAVENS, MONSTROSITY (aka THE ATOMIC BRAIN), MONSTER! (aka MONSTROID, from 1979), FURY OF THE WOLFMAN, CENSORED, CAVEGIRL, ATOMIC WAR BRIDE, ON THE BEACH, PSYCHO SHARK, THE GALAXY INVADER, HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS, ATTACK OF THE SUPER-MONSTERS, GAMERA VS ZIGRA, SUPER MONSTER, ALIEN VS PREDATOR 2 or whatever that vile thing was called. There’s a starter list….

  • Frankenchrist

    Robot Monster, of course. An please, nothing from Ed Wood, Jr.

  • ROBOT MONSTER was reviewed some years back.

  • GalaxyJane

    Or the Cushing theatrical Who movies from the 60s, plots lifted straight from the show, but all resemblance ends there. Also you get Donna’s grandfather as a policeman many moons before his turn in Nu-Who.

  • But the Who films aren’t “bad” movies. At least in general, they may be held in less respectful position to die-hard Who fans. Cushing is my favorite Who, probably because he’s Peter Cushing and all…..

  • MrTongoRad

    Maybe a series reminiscent of your excellent Jaws reviews- based on a classic first movie that then gets worse as the sequels add up. Like Alien…or Deathstalker!

  • Cullen Waters

    Every time I think of Peter Cushing as Dr. Who, a little part of me starts crying. Had the movies been a wee bit more respectful of the Doctor, it would have been glorious. Hell, it would have been nice if they treated Ian better…

    Still, they’re good flicks, with the second one being in some ways being almost better than the serial it’s based on.

  • Cullen Waters

    Not quite sure you’re right here. I remember a few gaffes that were positively wretched (the rolling meteor, for instance.) However, it’s been a decade or so since I last saw it, so I might be misremembering things.

  • Cullen Waters

    Deep Blue Sea, maybe? Blood Freak? Food of the Gods? Memoirs of an Invisible Man? The Ape Man? Any given film by Uwe Boll?

  • Cullen Waters

    Any of the early Gameras might be worthies. Even the first one.

  • sandra

    I vote for Teenagers From Outer Space, which, despite the name, doesn’t have one single teenager in the cast. Plus the lamest ‘monster’ in the history of film. It was a true labour of love for the guy who wrote, directed, produced and acted in it – and cast his lover as the hero.

  • sandra

    I vote for TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE, a true labour of love for the guy who wrote, directed, produced and acted in it, while casting his lover as the hero, and coming up with the lamest monster in the history of film. Gargon, anyone ?

  • sandra

    How does ON THE BEACH belong in that list ?

  • The Rev.

    I’ve always thought about offering to write up Attack of the Supermonsters, but I don’t think I’d have enough vitriol to make it fit this place, seeing as how I love that silly thing beyond all reason. I would like to see what Ken thinks of it, though.

    Older Gamera movies would be good choices (Zigra and Viras would probably fit Jabootu best). In fact, I think that’s where my vote would go; not nearly enough giant monster movies done here for my tastes. Either of the Yongary movies would fit the bill as well. Maybe Gappa, or the American “Godzilla” (not that I’d wish the latter on anyone.)

  • The Rev.

    Man, did we laugh when we saw (and heard) the Gargon. I mostly wanted to know how it was scooting along on its tail like that. Big, invisible rollerskates, perhaps?

  • MrTongoRad

    That movie’s been sitting on the shelf collecting dust for too long, now. Allright- I’m convinced- now I need to see it!

  • Beckoning Chasm

    *cough* Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park actually got sponsored, didn’t it? Who was it who did that, gosh, my memory is so terrible….

  • GalaxyJane

    I thought the first one was absolutely dreadful, way too loaded with bad Komedy so your mileage may vary. The second doesn’t suck, but it ain’t Doctor Who either. It helps that it is based on one of the best serials of the early series, but without kick-ass Barbara, it isn’t the same.

    And they serve as the introduction to the amazing Technicolor Daleks that managed to make a return recently. Considering how well that went over, I wouldn’t be proud of that either.

  • The two most irredeemably bad movies I’ve seen in the last few years were The Wicker Man (Nicolas Cage) and The Last Airbender, and both are pretty bad even if you haven’t seen the source materials.

  • Flangepart

    And now, of course, I must say “Tort-cha!”
    The gargon! A fine use of black magic marker on celluloid if ever there was one.

  • Ken_Begg

    Uhm, er….LOOK, A SQUIRREL!!!

  • Ken_Begg

    Yeah, it’s a bit didactic, but Kramer made far more awful movies, like RPM. But man, not another hippie movie!

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Absolutely no one should watch, let alone be forced to review, “Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.”

  • Gamera977

    Some great picks here, but I think I’d second ‘Space Mutiny.’ Not really offensive, boring, or derivative just gleefully stupid. Bad as it is I have to say I kinda enjoy it. The scene where the bridge officer reports the mutineers shot the hostage when SHE was the hostage is priceless! I don’t think even ‘Manos’ drops to that level of either stupidity or just not giving a damn.

  • How true. I guess I just thought I’d feel better if someone else felt my pain from that wasted two hours of my life.

  • An interesting piece might be a side-by-side review of YONGARY, MONSTER FROM THE DEEP and it’s “remake.”

  • ON THE BEACH is a horrible message movie that wastes a terrific cast and has about as much of a grip on hard science as does THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH. The movie might have been a decent watch if the story had revolved around a plague or something, but the whole affair was meant to be a warning against atomic weapons. The result is a movie about atomic bombs that don’t act in any way like atomic bombs, and this in 1959 yet, when any grade-schooler knew the workings of such things! It’s prime, choice, grade-A Jabootu material.

  • DR. WHO AND THE DALEKS was the first view many Americans had of the franchise, so it holds an important place. Even today, the movies make a good introduction pieces since they can act as a primer to get someone interested in sitting through the countless hours of television timelording. (Plus, they have to hit the ground running, so making the title character into human genius Dr. Who makes sense cinematically.)

    While not what you might call True Who, I hardly think they qualify as “bad” movies (although I seem to be in minority in thinking the first film was slightly better).

  • Ken_Begg

    I’m pretty sure I’ve told this story before, but they used to run sci-fi bills at a local theater that tragically has recently been bought and will probably be turned into a scuzzy music hall. Anyway.

    So on occasion I would steal one of my co-workers kids and take them down with me to infect them with Nerditis. Lily was five years old when we saw Teenagers from Outer Space as one of the features. It’s a joy of my life to recall her looking upon the shrieking silhouette of the Gargon and saying in an absolutely disgusted tone, “That’s just a lobster!”

  • SteveWD

    Herschell Gordon Lewis’ magnum opus “2000 Maniacs”, “Hausu”, “The Car”, or any Steven Seagal movie since “Under Siege”. Not sure about “The Car”, though, since that movie is pure awesomeness.

  • I don’t think you’re giving ON THE BEACH enough credit. It’s central premise is so flawed you can’t really appreciate the performances because you’re constantly wondering how they can say their lines with such conviction given how stupid they are. It’s an endless loop that grows more and more mind-boggling as it unspools. And it’s done with such pretentious importance. It’s like a Batman episode gone awry! It stands in the same camp as THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK, going by your review.

    Thankfully, there’s no shortage of far better end-o-the-world/atomic flicks (THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE, PANIC IN YEAR ZERO, THIS IS NOT A TEST, FAIL-SAFE, CRACK IN THE WORLD, VIRUS, etc).

  • I’m not sure about that. The first three films are pretty good (for this genre, particularly), and the next three have their points (although DESTROY ALL PLANETS does have the UN surrendering the entire planet to save the lives of two young scouts, despite the fact this means EVERYBODY dies). SUPER MONSTER is probably the best choice for review here, but GAMERA VS ZIGRA would make a good second choice due to the whole “those kids know too much about our plans that we just broadcast on public airwaves, kill them before they can warn the people we just threatened to kill that we’re going to kill them” angle!

  • GalaxyJane

    And this is why taste is a subjective thing. They were relatively expensive and flashy flicks for the time and place they were made, but I loathe bad comedy and that is almost the only thing that sticks with me from the first film.

    If I hadn’t already been a fan, I don’t think I would have sought out the series after that. And I certainly wouldn’t have sought out or watched the second flick if I hadn’t bought the tapes together in a boxed set. And I say this as one of the world’s great fans of Peter Cushing.

    I actually prefer the Dalekmania documentary about the theatrical films more than I liked either movie.

    Again, taste is subjective.

  • Memories are too. I remember the Daleks marching about, weird alien landscapes, blinding color, neato theme music, flying saucers, rebels fighting off monster machines, but very little of the comic relief stuff. I saw them as colorful 60’s adventure films made for general audiences, much like I recall Godzilla or Hercules movies. I suppose what sticks with us most are the things that set off our particular bugaboos, I guess comic relief must not be one of mine (which I find odd) since I don’t recall much of it, or it being intrusive to the adventure stuff. The subject matter is so flashy and pulpy to begin with, after all. (Well, one scene that I recall going on too long was in the second film, where the guy had to pose as a Roboman, but the rest of the film more than made up for that small bit.)

  • Cullen Waters

    The second Gamera (Gamera vs. Barugon/War of the Monsters) is probably the best of the lot, and would be the best Gamera movie ever if not for the Nineties flicks. It’s also one of the most depressing giant monster movies ever made, but that’s a talk for another time.

    The original, though… I wouldn’t call it pretty good. We have the little plot problems of two super secret scientific devices that just happen to be perfect for dealing with giant flying turtles (one of which controlled from a lab that looks like the Krell had a hand in building). Then there’s that fluke typhoon that comes out of nowhere at the end to cause problems, only to be countered by a fluke volcano erupting. Then there’s the kid, Toshio, who keeps going on and on about how good Gamera is all without a single soul pointing out the rising body count. And so on.

    Don’t get me wrong. Compared to Vs. Zigra and some of the others, it’s decent enough. And I might have become a wee bit jaded since I watched them as a kid. I just don’t know if good is the right word for the first film.

  • Cullen Waters

    Crap. I knew I was forgetting something.

  • Cullen Waters

    I have no issues with the human genius change they made. I can understand wanting to simplify things for the newcomers. I don’t agree with it – I think they could have left things as they were and not had much of a problem – but I can’t say it irritates.

    Making the Doctor a bumbling scientist, though… That kind of grates. Especially since Cushing was so damn good as an authority figure. The twee comedy doesn’t help, either.

    Again, I agree with you. They’re good flicks. Some of the best TV-to-Movie adaptations out there, in fact.

  • Frank Bauroth

    Roller Boogie or The Conqueror!

  • Ken_Begg

    (Half) your wish is my command…

    Google “jabootu.net conqueror”

  • Ken_Begg

    Yes, in NO way is The Car a bad movie. It’s a very fun film.

    I think I’ll leave the HGL movies to Sandy. Hausu is a masterpiece of weirdness, but so non-linear I’m not sure how you’d review it in any case.

    I’ve reviewed three Seagals, I’m not sure if any of the rest of his later work lives up to those standards.

  • Ken_Begg

    I remember the first Cushing Who as a bit of a slog, but as a kid really liked the second movie. Probably my first exposure to the Doctor, via TV telecasts.

  • Gamera977

    I dunno, I like both of them but they’re not really Who. Kinda like the Abrams Star Trek movies and ‘Never Say Never Again’ to the Bond franchise they’re neither fish nor fowl. They’re Who but not Who if that makes any sense.
    Personally I consider them to be UNIT made films of the adventures of the Doctor to enhance PR for our favorite Timelord… ;)

  • Ericb

    I’d also make the guess that Seagal’s later films are just him going through the motions in search of a buck rather than the grand statements and preaching of his star era films, which would make them more a chore to sit through and recap.

  • Ericb

    It’s amusing to think that this is probably one of the few films ever made that bought it’s monster a the local super market.

  • The theory I prefer is Ian and/or Barbara writing them after returning to Earth.
    I’m not a fan of either movie, but I think they do have some advantages over the stories they were based on. Significantly less padding than the seven-part The Daleks, for starters.

  • Ken_Begg

    That’s sort of my impression. Even Half Past Dead was significantly less noteworthy than On Deadly Ground or The Patriot. At this point he’s just grinding out cheapie potboilers, sort of his version of Syfy Original Moves, as far as I can tell.

  • Gamera977

    That works too! I should sit down sometime and watch both versions back to back. I’ll agree about the padding.

  • Ericb

    Though that was probably the case with AGENT RED and I found that one of the funniest recaps you’ve written. So, so, tired.

  • Ken_Begg

    Well, yeah, if I could find one that dumb…

  • Well, I’m going by the American versions of the films (for the sequels, the AIP-TV versions, not Sandy Frank), so GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE is the film I mean. In that cut, they drastically reduce the kid’s presence. The save at the lighthouse is played as something of a fluke, almost an accident on Gammera’s part. The kid is still there, but he’s not the focus of things anymore. He almost comes off as an afterthought. In many ways, it’s a superior cut of the film (and it gives Dick O’Neil a nice meaty role in the first half, which is always welcome).

  • LT_Harper

    Mr. Begg, it would be the greatest day on planet Earth if you could review just one of these films: BEYOND THE DOOR(1974). Some, including me have said this is possibly the greatest fim ever made. OK, only me. ABBY(1974), Beyond The Door’s “sister” film. Directed by the great William Girdler, these two films actually played on a double bill together. Both were sued by Warner Brothers but only Abby got the shaft.
    Speaking of Mr. Girdler how about the classics, Grizzly, Day of The Animals, or the Manitou?
    Horror High, aka Twisted Brain. A fav of horror nerds of a certain age who caught on Shock Theatre back in the 70’s. Starred Pat Cardi as a science nerd who is forced to drink his own science experiment by the school’s mean janitor. He then becomes Young Mr. Hyde and kills the Janitor and his other HS tormentors. BTW, the mean Janitor kept his pet cat with him, not unlike a janitor in a famous series of books about a boy wizard!
    The Children(1980). Schlocky but fun and somewhat creepy at times. About a bunch of kids in a school bus who turn into radioactive zombies when they pass through a radioactive cloud. Sort of a melding of Children of the Damned and Night of the Living Dead.
    The Island(1980). Based on Peter Benchley’s novel about a cult of modern day pirates in the Caribbean. Starring Micheal Caine in as a reporter who uncovers the pirates secret island. Although the film was a flop it was much better than Cain’s later foray into The World of Peter Benchley: JAWS THE REVENGE which so eloquently reviewed many moons ago!

  • I think Ken deserves a fun little monster mash, so I recommend either “Winterbeast” or “Spookies.”

  • Cullen Waters

    If I ever saw Gammera the Invincible it was decades ago. I do have a copy of it somewhere, though, and might give it a whirl. Anything that makes Toshio almost an afterthought has to have redeeming features. (The presence of Quatermass helps, too.)

  • Mr. Rational

    Something from Bill Rebane. Surprise me. :)

  • INVASION FROM INNER EARTH would be perfect. At times it’s intriguing, but that out-of-left-field (metaphysical?) ending just throws it all away. Another good (though non-Rebane) choice like that might be UFO: TARGET EARTH. In fact, that one would be perfect in general, and as a bonus includes one of the most blatant visible microphone shots in cinema history!

  • I’d second THE MANITOU, but Girdler’s two killer animal flicks are some of the best 70’s killer animal flicks that came out of that period, topped only by KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS. GRIZZLY is quite good, in fact, and would mostly be subject to a nugget that compares the film to JAWS and how it holds to the mold more firmly than most Jaws-a-likes, and works despite itself.

  • Be sure you have a widescreen copy if you do give it another viewing, it adds greatly to the film, and makes it look like a much larger production than it actually was!

  • Another suggestion: HARD TICKET TO HAWAII. This particular Andy Sidaris (Sadaris?) epic is more wacko than the others, which tend to be a bit dull. The big draw here is a plague-carrying, bullet-proof python that menaces the characters. In a classic moment, it slithers into the plumbing and later literally explodes out of the toilet -flash of light and smoke included!

  • The Rev.

    I seem to recall Ken (or someone) mentioning that movie showing up during a past B-Fest. It sounded like a hoot.

  • The Rev.

    I’d agree that the first Gamera movie’s not bad enough for Jabootu. I’d thought about mentioning Super Monster, though. At least it has a lot of monster stuff (even if it is recycled).

  • The Rev.

    I’m surprised he hasn’t done The Manitou already. The Children would probably be a good choice, although I found it a lot better than I remembered on my recent re-watching. Not good, really, but not nearly as boring and terrible as my memories had told me it was.

  • Frank Bauroth

    Cool. Roller Boogie is a challenge that is still out there. Just sayin’

  • Yeah, it’s like someone found a ‘best of Gamera’ reel and then squeezed in an incredibly lame superhero movie. Goofy as all get-out, but I think the thing that actively hurts it is Gamera’s new theme music. Man, that’s terrible. I’ve heard better music on public television!

  • It certainly has it’s points! It features one of the most indestructible heavies outside of a slasher film! (And, if memory serves, it has all the hallmarks of a Sidaris film: bad acting, radio controlled models, cross-dressers, ‘cool’ lines that sound like jokes, ‘jokes’ that don’t sound like jokes, ‘action’ that probably sounded better on paper, etc.) I think it’s the one that features a razor-edged Frizbee, too!

  • Ken_Begg

    I love The Manitou! I think it has too much awareness of it’s own absurdity to call it a bad movie. And it’s well mounted. Goofy, but good, like The Car.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I think the problem is that Andy Sidaris’ work is very hard to come by on home video.

  • Ken_Begg

    Actually, I have the dozen Sidaris set which you can pick up (or could, anyway) for under $10.

    Again, the problem with his stuff is that they pretty much succeed at what they are trying to accomplish. The closest thing you can get to a primary definition of the term ‘bad movie’ in the Jabootutian sense would be a film that fails at what it’s trying to do. There are exceptions, but they’re pretty rare.

  • GalaxyJane

    Ken subjected me to Hard Ticket to Hawaii last year before I flew back home after B-Fest, the python was hysterical, but I have to kind of agree that the movie served it’s purpose admirably. Said purposes being the showing off of attractive bodies and attractive scenery with the plot merely serving as the thin glue holding the rest together. The python was hysterical however. Makes you wonder if the makers of Snakes on a Plane were familiar with the Sidaris oevre.

  • Ericb

    How about the final film in Coleman Francis’ light aircraft trilogy, RED ZONE CUBA?

  • Ken_Begg

    Man, if I could find a copy of that, I would definitely do it. I’ve been looking for years, though.

  • That was a re-issue title. The film’s actual moniker is NIGHT TRAIN TO MUNDO FINE, which also fails to reflect just what the film is about…whatever that is!

  • I’m not sure they succeed that well. They’re supposed to be fun action movies, right? I know the main point was to mix naked or scantily clad women with big flaming explosions, but what struck me was just how poorly Sidaris did it. His movies were ALWAYS over-long and any time something wasn’t exploding the film moved at a snail’s pace. The only thing that really kept me interested throughout the whole 12 films was looking to see exactly when that cow-hide briefcase was going to show up!

  • GalaxyJane

    I forgot about the explosions, I am such a chick sometimes :)

  • GalaxyJane

    Ohh, how about “Trick or Treat”, the one where Skippy from Family Ties plays a misunderstood headbanger who brings his favorite dead rocker back from the grave to wreak his revenge on all the cool kids at school. Hell, you could do a whole roundtable just of crappy movies featuring Gene Simmons in some sort of role; that one, The aforementioned “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” and “Never Too Young to Die”, “Runaway”, “Wanted , Dead or Alive”. The mind boggles (and the stomach churns).

  • Or Alice Cooper’s horror movie, MONSTER DOG! The film just a little too closely resembles THE UNEARTHLING (aka POD PEOPLE) for it’s own good! Come to think of it, THE UNEARTHLING would make for a good review subject. I imagine a lot of stuff had to be cut out for the MST3K version!

  • Although it would just be cruel to suggest the latest monster movie to feature Cooper, BIGFOOT…. (Not to be confused with my beloved 1969 epic BIGFOOT, which would be a dandy review subject!)

  • GalaxyJane

    I adore the Coop, but he does have a string of stinkers to his disgrace. “Prince of Darkness”, “Freddy’s Dead-The Final Nightmare” (in 3D!!!!), and the recent execrable “Dark Shadows”. Clearly rock success does not translate to the movies.

  • Wait. If that’s the definition of a ‘bad’ movie, why are THE GREEN SLIME, QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE, FROM HELL IT CAME, and a few other gems sprinkled throughout the review list? How do any of those films fail at being entertaining pulp science fiction? (And when did they front as being anything but?)

  • The only movie from either franchise that I rated less than a 7 on IMDb.

  • kgb_san_diego

    It’s funny — a lot of people remember this movie with venom. I just barely remember it at all — so much so that i do not even really consider it a part of either franchise. More like a mediocre student project.

  • Though it’s not really a BAD movie, how about the film Gargoyles starring Bernie Casey and Cornel Wilde?

  • Ken_Begg

    Because they’re all unremittingly stupid? I mean, c’mon, you MIGHT have an argument for Green Slime (not a great one, I’d judge, but kind of one), but Queen of Outer Space is objectively awful, and From Hell it Came?! That movie’s right there with your Robot Monsters.

    The Sidaris movies are actually meant to be dumb, purely tongue in cheek. That’s quite a bit different from being played totally straight while being as sheerly goofy as any of the three movies you mention.

  • Ken_Begg

    I saw Hard Ticket to Hawaii with about three hundred people at B-Fest a few years back, and I can tell you, it was *highly* successful at being a fun action flick, if the rollicking audience reaction was any measure.

  • Ken_Begg

    Hate to tell you Rock, but when I eventually get around to another Bigfoot movie, it will definitely be the 1969 pic.

  • The Rev.

    I’m betting Scott Foy did that one already (the newer Bigfoot movie, I mean). Ken, if you haven’t seen it, you might want to check it out. It’s not quite as gleefully retarded as Megapirahna, but not for lack of trying. I have a feeling it was done by the same crew that did Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, as it has some obvious similarities, but if so, they learned a few things as I found it rather more entertaining than the latter. I also like that it was filmed in the Black Hills of South Dakota, an area I’m very familiar with (many trips there in my youth) and one that’s just about the most beautiful place I’ve seen.

  • Ken_Begg

    Wow, what a cast! Doesn’t look like it’s out on DVD yet, though.

  • I’d love to see “Cutthroat Island” get the Jabootu treatment.

  • I’d love to read such a piece! My own review was rather more polite than I thought it would be. I guess I just can’t help but be charmed by the film, no matter how poorly it was produced!

  • Actually, I believe there were similar origins for the giant crab used in MYSTERIOUS ISLAND, and the giant octopus featured in KING KONG VS GODZILLA. I know both ended up on the dinner plates of the respective effects technicians.

  • I’ll grant you MALIBU EXPRESS and HARD TICKET TO HAWAII, but the other films are just painfully drawn out. Seems like ENEMY GOLD was sort of interesting, though.

  • I just recently got to see QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE again after about 20 years. I loved it. It’s such a big candy bowl of color and pop design, and I sometimes forget just what a stunner Zsa Zsa really was. Again, though, the film doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s obviously just a pulp adventure story come to Technicolor life.

    As to FROM HELL IT CAME, about the only harsh thing I can say about it is that Tod Andrews is a little stiff. It has a neat (unusual) monster, beautiful jungle island setting, and one of the greatest soundtracks ever heard in a B monster movie. It’s not THEM! or anything, but it certainly isn’t as wacko as ROBOT MONSTER either. I’d plant it (no pun intended) in the same league as the AIP films of the era, ATTACK OF THE 50FT WOMAN, and THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS. Not quite up there with the Universals of the same period, but a fine B just the same. (As a side note, I believe your review specimen was the early television version. All I’ve ever seen is the theatrical cut -ditto THE CYCLOPS.)

  • Part of the problem was that, while it started off sort of good (not great, the writing was TV level at best, but there were some nice initial attempts at some decent character development), it turned hateful and nasty and insulting, then continued as such. The audience just gave back what the movie had already thrown at them.

  • Did the second Dr. Who film get a theatrical release in the States, or did it go straight to television later? I know THUNDERBIRD 6 didn’t get imported due to the lackluster US box office of THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO, and it later found it’s way onto the American tube (and I’m not sure if that happened prior to the TNT showing back in the 90’s). About what year would you say you saw DALEKS: INVASION EARTH, 2150 A.D.?

  • SteveWD

    How about disastrous disaster movies? When Time Ran Out, Concorde – Airport 79, Condominium (yeah, I’m pretty sure that was a real movie I remember seeing as a kid).

  • The Rev.

    It came out a while back…that’s surprising.

    I had had it on my DVR, but saw it was on Netflix and watched it one night, hoping it’d be the type of movie to suck Chelsea in so I’d have someone to watch with. Sure enough, it did.

    I find a good test for a bad movie is if it gets the lady of the house’s attention. She didn’t really watch it, but she did keep getting pulled away from the computer by the nonsense onscreen. Not quite as often as when I watched Megapiranha, but more than Locusts: The 8th Plague.

  • FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER, RAT PFINK A BOO BOO (although that’s more a curiosity for being started as one film and changed half-way through filming. I actually thought the resultant film was pretty entertaining, but there needs to be a Ray Dennis Steckler film on the list somewhere), SKYHIGH (not to be confused with SKY HIGH, the Disney film), ROCK-A-DOODLE (I enjoyed it, but it is sufficiently weird), PRINCESS OF MARS (the actual first John Carter film that was rushed into production and released about a year before the Disney epic, with former under-age porno queen Tracy Lords in the title role), MOTHRA 2 (was that the one with the underwater pyramid?), LADY FRANKENSTEIN, FRANKENSTEIN’S CASTLE OF FREAKS, NIGHT OF THE GHOULS?

  • The Rev.

    I’ve mentioned that Mothra trilogy before as being candidates for this place. Hell, I’d considered reviewing them for the old message board, but really didn’t want to watch them again. (I still have that tape, though.) The second one was indeed the one with the underwater pyramid and that annoying “cute” fuzzy critter that healed things by pissing on them.

    The first two are about even in crappiness, although both have a few bright points (probably a couple more in the first one.) The third is one of the worst giant monster movies ever, and features probably the most embarrassing special effects sequence I’ve ever seen in a Toho kaiju eiga. (Not to mention completely neutering Belvara, the only interesting character in the entire trilogy.)

  • Ken_Begg

    Good call, the first two are definitely on my ‘look at’ list.

  • SteveWD

    Oh and ‘The Horror at 37,000 Feet’. Don’t know where you would find it but man, early 70’s made for TV goodness + Shatner. I think it was directed by the same guy that did Airport 79.

  • Ericb

    Is that the one where almost everyone on a plane eat some bad chicken and get sick?

  • SteveWD

    Oh no. This one’s about a plane that’s haunted by some’THING’ in the cargo hold. It’s got Shatner as a priest!, Russell ‘The Professor’ Johnson, Chuck Conners, The guy who played Tyrell in ‘Wrath of Khan’, and I think Buddy Ebsen was in there somewhere. The scene where Shatner finally confronts the ‘thing’ is one of the most hilarious scenes ever. I remember seeing this on TNT’s ‘Monstervision’ way back when. Man, I miss that and Joe Bob Briggs.

  • GalaxyJane

    Ooh, if we’re talking disaster flicks how about “A Fire in the Sky”, where Richard Crenna meets his doom smoking peyote with the Pima Indians in the desert as they wait for the comet to hit. Haven’t seen that one in years, but it’s a guilty pleasure of mine. TNT used to show it as a double-feature with “Meteor” back in the day, which isn’t nearly as much goofy fun, even with Brian Keith trying to convince the audience he was Russian.

  • Ooh!!! I have a good one! BABY, SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND! Why, it’s right up there with KING KONG LIVES!

  • Just who is Uwe Boll? Is it okay that a red-blooded American average Joe like myself has no idea who that is?

  • I’m really going to have to see DEEP BLUE SEA again! I remember enjoying it quite a bit, but all I’ve heard lately is how it’s the worst killer shark movie ever made. I must have missed something….

    BLOOD FREAK would be a good choice, bonus points for obscurity! FOOD OF THE GODS wasn’t very good, but I’m not sure it’s really a terrible movie, either. Oh, it’s close, but at least it’s a fairly slick production.

  • Cullen Waters

    Oh, I think FOOD’s a decent enough flick. EMPIRE OF THE ANTS has already been done, and I thought maybe another B.I.G. flick was what this site needed. Besides, Ken might put up captures of Pamela Franklin.

    I have a thing for Pamela Franklin.

    As for Uwe Boll, he’s the director of a long series of movies-based-on-video-games that are, well, less than stellar. I’ve managed to avoid him so far, so I can’t quite comment on his ability to direct,. However I’m willing to bet it’s not only perfectly fine not to know about him, but also better for your overall health.

  • kgb_san_diego

    Second what Cullen said — not knowing the Uwe is almost certainly a positive thing…

  • kgb_san_diego

    Deep Blue Sea is enormously fun to make fun of. If you turn a blind eye to scientific detail, rational behavior, and common sense, then it can be a fun romp. However, once you start down the path of trying to figure out exactly what the researchers were trying to do, and how a giant shark can swim invisible in 3 feet of water, there is no going back. :-) I still watch this movie occasionally just for the LOLZ…

  • Gamera977

    I think the only Boll movie I’ve seen is ‘Underworld’ which was bad, not bad as so bad it’s fun just boring, dull, and pointless. I’ll admit Kate in the skin-tight painted on jumpsuit was cool and the werewolves were neat but the rest was a great cure for insomnia.

  • Ericb

    VAMPIRE’S KISS: John Cage eats cockroaches, chews the scenery and vomits it all back at the viewer.

  • Ericb

    I must be going senile. Of course I meant Nicholas Cage. Though I guess a Jabootu article on John Cage would certainly be easy to do, you could just post a blank page.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I’ve seen House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark. The main problem with both is that they were pointless; they just marked time until 90-odd minutes were in the can. I’ve never seen so much padding, stupid reversals, ignoring of established rules, etc etc.

  • Thanks all for clearing that up for me. I certainly remember the previews for UNDERWORLD back when it was in release, and detecting an odor coming from the screen that made me stay very far away. I guess I was right to avoid it!

    I think I saw HOUSE OF THE DEAD, if that’s the film I’m thinking of (set on an island, very 70’s set-up but splashes of ridiculous video-game shots, a zombie movie, maybe). I mostly remember thinking the material could have supported a better movie, but I have very little recall otherwise.