Best laid plans of mice and men…

Updated on June 27, 2011 By Ken Begg 29 Comments

…Gang aft agley, and all that.

My plans to get some writing done this weekend were sabotaged by a) having no Internet again this weekend, and b) a terrific summer head cold I’ve managed to dig up and which yet afflicts me.  Better times ahead, hopefully.

I trust everyone else had a better weekend. Consider this the open thread if you wish to delineate your various adventures.

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  • The Rev.

    I made good headway through the Ultraman collection I got a while back; I’m about halfway through. I’ve been surprised by how bizarre and/or bloodily violent some of the episodes have been.

    I also caught up on a few Siffy movies in my DVR…

    Ice Road Terror: Better than most movies on Siffy, and good in places most of them are not. The CGI was AWFUL, although the critter design was simple and interesting. A couple of moments of “how’d they/it do that?” but nothing too breaking. The big surprise was the acting, which was pretty good despite the characters not being particularly original; enough so that there were a couple of characters whose deaths made me actually feel sad. They actually seemed like people. It had one of the better romantic interludes I’ve seen in one of these (the couple just sits close, talking and looking out the window at the nighttime sky, which is alive with the aurora borealis). They never kiss, just slowly get closer throughout the movie. Very nicely handled. Good beastie-killing method, too.

  • The Rev.

    To continue…

    Swamp Shark: Another surprise: despite being pretty much Jaws in the Bayou, it ends up being better than most. Again, the acting was one of the higher points; this time, however, I expected it, since we’ve got a few pretty well-known B-movie types: Kristy Swanson (who is still just incredibly hot), D.B. Sweeney, and Robert Davi. Jeff Chase plays a big (and I mean BIG), friendly, roughneck character, and is pretty fun. I’d never heard of him, so I was surprised with how well he did; turns out he’s actually been acting for a while, and playing what seem to be similar roles, so I guess he’s had practice. Wade Boggs (yes, that Wade boggs) has a small role, and does fine. The CGI was OK; I wish we’d seen more of the prop shark, which was pretty damn cool. Plenty of bloody mayhem; mostly “blood in the water” type stuff, but a few good gore moments. Davi is naturally the human villain in this, but thankfully that subplot doesn’t take up much of the running time, and since it’s Davi I didn’t mind. The shark turns out to have a nearly-unfailing moral compass, munching bad, or at least “bad” (i.e. horny teens) people nearly every time. This tendency comes to a head during the climactic five minutes, when the movie suddenly goes batshit crazy and had me howling with delighted laughter. Not quite Megapiranha levels of insanity, but closer than you’d expect from the rest of the movie. Overall, it’s a pretty good Jaws clone, with a kick-ass ending. The only letdown is that I fully expected Chase to wrestle with, or at least punch, the shark, and he didn’t. That was definitely a missed opportunity.

  • p

    I got my computer cleaned up so I can provide copies of those TCM drive-in movies that you and Rock wanted.

  • Reed

    I would like to propose an intenet meme drive where we collective make “shark punching”, or “punching the shark”, or other variations the cool new term. I don’t know what it means. In fact, I think it’s funnier if it doesn’t have a specific meaning.

    “I think you punched the shark that time, Bob.”

    “I’m always up for a little shark punching, if you know what I’m saying.”

    I went to see the Green Lantern movie, and was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t the best superhero movie, but it wasn’t bad either. Entertaining while it’s on, instantly forgettable afterwards. Since they chose to include the Green Lantern Corps, the Guardians of the Universe, and all of the other modern backstory they had a very, very cluttered narrative that they needed to bring viewers up to speed on. Perhaps that is something that people did not like about it. I won’t be buying the DVD, but I’m not sorry I watched it either.

  • Toby Clark

    I watched a few episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion – up to just after Unit 03 turns into an angel with Toji inside. Gotta say, I preferred the manga version of that one.

    I also rewatched the Princess Bride for the first time since Year 8. Still good.

    I read a few more chapters of To Love-Ru and Mahou Sensei Negima – both scanlations, although I do have the (poorly translated) book of the latter.

    I’m reconsidering seeing Green Lantern (still a month away here), mainly because the scene where Carol sees through Hal’s “disguise” sounds worth a ticket on its own. Besides, by now it wouldn’t be the second time this year that I’ve disagreed with a low Tomatometer rating. (Cars 2 was awesome, incidentally).

  • I spent my weekend in a panic. Torrential rains in the St Louis area caused flooding in many communities, including mine. The street in front of my apartment building and the parking lot behind me were turned into rivers when a creek flooded its banks. Every building in my complex got flooded except mine only because it sits just slightly higher than the others. Fortunately, the water fell as fast as it rose. Unfortunately, theres more storms expected this week.

  • John Campbell

    I missed the end of Swamp Shark and I agree. It’s good to see SyFy actually pushing something besides Limburger!

    Ken get better sir! (The fiancee has managed to track down a nice summer cold as well)

    From what I’ve heard the main complaint with Cars 2 was that Mater gets more screen time than lightning mcqueen.

    Plus that whole 68 million for opening weekend. Gotta be something good there!

    Rotten Tomatoes can kiss my hearing arse! (Too paraphrase my fiancee who is deaf).

    I’ll form my own opinions.

    Oh and I had a co-worker ask this morning “Didn’t Michael Bay direct Pearl Harbor?”

    Damn near wet myself at the thought!

  • Rock Baker

    My cousin Nikki stopped by this weekend. She’s a former Marine, a welder, and does mixed martial arts fighting professionally. I was very nice to her all weekend, given that she could kill me with her thumbs if I gave her a reason.

    More to the interests of the crowd at hand, I also began roughing out a script for a 60’s teen beach monster movie that might actually get made. Fingers crossed.

  • Gamera

    Ouch, hope you feel better Ken.

    And hope things work out for you John, flooding is no joke.

    Didn’t do much here, watched the 1980 ‘Flash Gordon’ again and decided it’s the 4th greatest movie ever made. That and pulled out Niven and Pornelle’s ‘The Mote in God’s Eye’ to reread. Got to be one of my favorite SF novels.

  • John Campbell

    @Rock – Fingers crossed on the script and good call on your cousin!

    It never pays to upset the person who knows 300 ways to kill with a straw wrapper!

  • KeithB

    Also went to see Cars 2. It got a thumbs up from my whole family, though I was the only one who figured out who the Big Boss was.

  • The Rev.

    Oh, where are my manners? Ken, I hope you feel better soon!

    JC: Man, you missed the best part! Be sure to catch the end the next time it’s on!

  • I hope you feel better, Ken. I feel your pain. A tropical storm, here, in the Philippines knocked out my power and then the Internet (I have a generator). So I lost work (oDesk $$) and my joints were sore from all the humidity. I did get to watch “Intrusion Cambodia” on Cinemax. A delightfully horrid film with Philippine locations. Anyway, it’s a new day and things will get better for us both, I trust…

  • Mr. Rational

    Burned through the last part of my 50-episode collection of “One Step Beyond,” a very interesting “true-stories” anthology series of the bizarre. Rewatched some old “Buffy” Season 4 episodes while grading. Continued to achieve my life-long goal of reading (as far as I can) every review the B-Masters have ever placed online. Believe it or not, I’m down to the last site, and into the C’s!

    Also watched some actual good movies for once: “Singin’ in the Rain” for the umpteenth time, and “The Best Years of Our Lives” and the classic Disney “Snow White for the first. (Yes, I’d never seen “Snow White” before. Yes, I know.) Don’t worry about my lapse into good taste, though. Today’s scheduled fare: “Cathy’s Curse” and “Dead Men Walk.” I’ll probably return to good classic movies in a few weeks.

    Feel better, Ken!

  • Flangepart

    Wow. Hope all improves, oh Sultan of Sarcasim.

    Sunday, slept most of the day.
    Monday, worked, then slept.
    Today…we’ll see.

  • Reed

    Rock, you might get a script into production? That punches the shark!

  • The Rev.

    So, did Ken lose his access today, or did his cold get worse?

  • Ericb

    I hope it not one of those colds that used to knock off Soviet leaders back in the 80s.

  • Rock Baker

    Don’t expect it to hit theaters or anything, or have any budget to speak of, but yeah, I’m pretty excited about it! I’ll toss out some details when/if things get rolling.

  • Marsden

    Ken, I hope your health is good. I’d say just let us know you’re ok but if it’s just your internet down you won’t see this to respond.

    This reminds me of the time on MASH when the latrine blew up and someone (Klinger, I think) asked Henry (who was in the latrine) to knock three times if he was dead.

    Ken, if you can’t read this, just let us know by pigeon or some conveinent alternative means, maybe psychic powers would be handy right now.

  • Gamera

    Best of luck with the film Rock and please keep us informed on how things are going with it.

    BTW: Anyone seen ‘Super Eight’? Opinions? Still on the fence if I want to see it or not.

  • Frankly, the whole “evil government” plotline which I’ve heard permeates Super 8 has turned me away from it. Not that I’m government’s biggest fan but jeeze. Now that lame trope has infected Spielberg.

  • Ericb

    Didn’t the “evil government” gene in Speilberg manifest itself in “Close Encounters” and “E.T.” and therefore infected “Super 8” via those pathways?

  • John Campbell

    I wish Ken was here so we could discuss politics some more. But I guess it’s for the best as one of us always ends up punching the shark!

    On a more Spielbergian note, I’ve heard that EEEE-vil governments engage in dreadful shark punching experiments!

    Has anyone seen “Shark Punch” yet? It’s about some girl who makes up a fantasy world to escape the horrors of reality.

    (Okay the last one was just plain BAD!)

  • Rock Baker

    If the idea of Super 8 is to re-create upper scale 80s genre fare, isn’t evil government just part of the package? It was the Reagan era, and studio guys HATED Reagan, possibly more than they hated Bush or Nixon!

    How many days should pass before we start getting worried?

  • Gamera

    Frankly the whole goverment conspiracy BS is so common now I have to laugh at it. It’s one of those things like a 90 pound woman kicking the butt of a 350 pound pro-wrestler guy that I just roll my eyes at and try to ignore.

    Thanks guys, think I’ll just skip this one.

  • Rock Baker

    And yet, life has taught me never to underestimate a 90 pound girl. Certain mechanics of leverage and speed are in their favor.

  • Reed

    You go John Campbell! That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

    Now I need to get on some net forums or something and instigate a little shark punching.

  • To be fair the gummint was not in “full evil” mode in Close Encounters or E.T.

    And while it certainly depends on the 350 pound man, I always find it risible to see skinny teen girls beating up on the bad guys.

    A policewoman of my experience works out almost every day, trains in judo and fighting techniques, and is quite buff for a woman 120 pounds. She complains bitterly that skinny drunk guys EASILY toss her aorund when she’s trying to subdue them. Her explanation is that men simply have far more upper body muscle, and she thinks its very unfair.

    Another cop friend of mind tells me that it’s well known that you are far likelier to get maced or shot facing a female cop than a male one, ximply because they have fewer safe options to subdue you. My friend, the lady cop, wrestled so long with a guy who was not big and strong, simply off his meds, that she finally got pissed off and when he was shouting at her she maced all over the inside of his mouth. That shut him up and calmed him down fast. She probably wouldn’t have had to do that if she’d been a male bodybuilder instead of a female one.