Good Remakes, Bad Remakes, TV Edition

There are certain shows you can see being successfully remade and/or reinvented. Most of them, in fact, assuming they are properly executed.

Hawaii 5-0, I guess, has been fairly successful for CBS. I think the secret is to pick a show that people might remember the original cast of fondly, but which didn’t offer a really iconic performance. Older viewers might remember Jack Lord as the star of the first Hawaii 5-O, but you can’t say he owned the part to the extent that no one else could play it. Similarly, I could see remakes of, say, McMillan and Wife or McCloud working with new actors. Yet it’s a lot harder to picture somebody else doing Columbo.

NBC just announced a remake is in the works of Charlie’s Angels. Again, no problem there, I think. The show’s concept is stronger than the actors we remember in the show, and indeed, it was already been reinvented as a successful movie (and less successful sequel). Indeed, even when the original show was at its peak of popularity, genuine cultural phenom Farrah Fawcett very poorly gambled that no one else could fill the ‘hot blonde’ slot on the show. She demanded more money and threatened to leave the show.

Needless to say, she proved disastrously incorrect, even if the blondes that followed her were comparative non-entities. (Suzanne Somers proved even dumber, making the same exact gamble on Three’s Company after Fawcett had already gone down in flames doing the same thing. Somers gave up millions of dollars in income because she failed to recognize that the one and only person the show couldn’t easily replace would have been John Ritter. It’s harder to find genuine comic timing than perky breasts.)

Meanwhile, ABC has probably just been saved millions of dollars by happenstance. The producer of House MD was shepherding a reworking of The Rockford Files for the alphabet network. Now, that’s a horrible idea. James Garner WAS Jim Rockford, and moreover an actor who really had a really unique personality. Even after securing what by TV standards was a ‘name,’ actor Delmot Mulroney, the remake idea seems obviously doomed.  Perhaps luckily for all involved, a major planned story arc on House somehow imploded, and the producer had to flee back to his cash cow to help get things back on track.

That doesn’t excuse the executives who green lit the idea, though. There are zillions of successful shows from the past to rouse from the grave. Why pick one of the comparative few that it would be all be impossible to rejuvenate?

  • [facetious]I’m waiting for a remake of BARNABY JONES.[/facetious]

  • Yes, but he’ll be in ’20s. And really, really buff. Maybe a surfer in his off-hours.

  • Mr. Rational

    On a related note, TNT has ordered a sequel series to the classic prime-time soap opera “Dallas.” Supposedly, the series will follow the next generation of Ewings, the sons of J.R. and Bobby. I guess my question is — does this really need to be done? After fourteen seasons, two TV movies, and literally dozens of unrealistic incidents (characters being killed off, characters leaving temporarily or permanently [usually for Europe], characters clinging to the edge of life, houses burning down, assassination attempts, affairs of the heart and the loins [sometimes between relatives], power plays for control of oil companies, and so forth)…how many more stories are there left to tell in this universe?

  • roger h

    I thought “Justified” was the new “McCloud” ;)

    Jim Rockford was really just Brett Maverick in the 20th century.

  • OTL

    To be fair, I (and I’m sure I’m not alone) would have thought you could never re-cast the original Star Trek cast; Kirk *was* Shatner, Spock *was* Nimoy, et. al. They sure proved me wrong with that one, though.

    Of course, I’d rather they not even try to re-cast Columbo or Rockford (or any one of a number of other characters), but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to do well. Just highly, highly unlikely…

  • roger h

    If they really need ideas for new cop show, I think they have something from “Lost”.

    In the alternative LA, Sawyer and Miles were police detective partners. I think that would have worked as a series.

  • Ericb

    Regarding Star Trek I think that replacing an iconice ensemble case would ironically be easier that redoing a show based on only one iconic character (see Hawaii 5-O). In an ensemble cast one weak link wouldn’t deatroy the entire ediface, on the other hand, if your new Columbo actor sucks, well, so much money down the drane

  • I was about to say the same thing as Eric; in Star Trek, they really reinvented / updated the entire franchise, amping up the action and f/x up and doing the youth thing. And really, does anyone have any general impressions of Delmot Mulroney? How could he possibly fill James Garner’s shoes? Why not just do a similar show without the baggage of associating it with something it couldn’t hope to live up to?

  • Gamera

    Wondering if in 2040 the big new show will a reboot of ‘Dirty Jobs’?

    Frankly I haven’t liked any remake outside of the ’90s Gamera movies. Ok I’m wierd but I hated the Trek remake though I did pay to see it and will probably be giving Paramount more of my money to see the sequel.

    I don’t have a problem with revamping/updating the Trek francise except that it’s already been done. It was called ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’. Yes ST:TNG wasn’t as good as the original but I think the problems were other things than giving us new characters.

    Rather than a re-make of Hawaii 5-0 why not do a new cop show based in Hawaii with new characters? I don’t think using the original name is going to bring over many fans of the original show will it?

    I dunno, I think I’m turning into a bitter old coot…

  • roger h

    I wouldn’t call him Columbo but, wouldn’t Steve Buscemi make a good detective in the same way. He looks like a bum and no one would give him any respect until they felt the noose around their neck.

  • BeckoningChasm

    Remakes are made for one reason: high name recognition. They could do a Hawaiian detective show with a new name and characters, but that means building the thing up from scratch, and you don’t get the publicity from irate fans who are sure the show will be a disaster compared to the original.

    I disliked the cast for the new Star Trek, but there’s no way Paramount is going to mount something “new” when they’ve got something old they can do over again.

  • Gamera

    I can’t argue with you BC. Someone around here, I think it was Nathan Shumate, said that Hollywood has the idea that there are lots of fans that are just waiting for a remake of their favorite show.

    Just seems strange to me that anyone would think there would be legions of Hawaii 5-0 fans out there waiting for a remake.

    Then again darned if I know, as I said I’m a grumpy old fart that doesn’t like anything new. Probably the exact opposite audience they’re aiming at.

  • roger h

    I believe the people behind “Lost” are doing Hawaii 5-0 so, I am thinking that they had all this good will and structure in Hawaii from 5 years of “Lost” and were just looking for a project. 5-0 seemed like a safe bet.

  • P Stroud

    “Yet it’s a lot harder to picture somebody else doing Columbo.”

    No s**t. Remember Matthew Broderick trying to channel Don Adams (shudder).

    And I kind of like Broderick usually. But… the horror… the horror…..

  • Ah, in Inspector Gadget, I assume? It is an odd choice; Adams’ shtick was an impenetrable self-confidence, the opposite of what Broderick has played in everything since Ferris Bueller.

    How about Steve Martin trying to do Peter Sellers? Yikes!

  • P Stroud

    Actually a 5-0 redo has potential. It’s not like the original show was all that great. If BSG can be redone so effectively there’s no reason that 5-0 can’t. Maybe they could even work in Crispin Glover like they did in Charlie’s Angels. And degenerate albino cave dwelling cannibals. Any show can be improved with the inclusion of degenerate albino cave dwelling cannibals.

  • Gamera

    Well they could at least update it to Hawaii 6-0…

  • fish eye no miko

    P Stroud said: “Actually a 5-0 redo has potential. It’s not like the original show was all that great.”

    The re-make of Hawaii 5-0 started late last year, actually…

  • P Stroud

    I’m always behind on broadcast TV. I only catch shows a year or two later on netflix. Just finished up Dexter 4, LOST 5 and Fringe 2 recently. Is this new 5-0 actually any good? Is it worth queing up?

  • Ericb

    The best thing about the old one was that Steve Mcgarret always seemed to be wearing a suit. Even when he was at the beach! I really have a hard time picturing Lord as Capt. Kirk.

  • Rock Baker

    I say (for what that’s worth) drop the whole remake idea and let it die altogether. Enough warm memories have been mercilessly ripped to shreds with remake and sequel shows. Three words to anyone in the business: Move on, please!

  • R. Dittmar

    This discussion makes me recall that remake of “The Night Stalker” that went down in flames and got yanked after only managing to air 3 or 4 episodes. More proof of Ken’s theory I think. Darren McGavin WAS Kolchak and nobody else could possibly fill those shoes. It sure didn’t help that they couldn’t even recreate the tone of the original. It was utterly humorless.

  • Rock Baker

    Still, I understand a Kolchak update more than making a movie based on The Honeymooners. Those weren’t just characters anyone could play, as is the topic today, it was Gleason-Carney-Meadows-Randolph that made that show what it was. Just knowing the movie exists makes me live in constant fear that I Love Lucy and Gilligan’s Island are next!

  • roger h

    seemed to me that X-files was the update of The Night Stalker

  • sandra

    I don’t think a remake of DALLAS will ever be able to top Bobby Ewing coming back from the dead :-D

  • sandra

    Its like tht DRAGNET remake a few seasons back, starring Ed O’Neill: Frank Smith was a 20-something; Friday finally made Lieutenant. It wasn’t a bad show, but why call it DRAGNET ? It had nothing to do with the original. Anyone remember the title of that parody show where they used to redub actual episodes ?

  • Kirk

    I can’t see anyone else as Jim Rockford. You might as well try to remake Quincy. Some characters are inseparable from the actors who played them.

  • fish eye no miko

    roger h said: “seemed to me that X-files was the update of The Night Stalker”

    Yeah, pretty much. They even had Darren McGavin in a few episodes.

  • zombiewhacker

    I dunno… I could sorta see Michael Madsen as a new Columbo, if they ever offered it to him. (Remember Peter Falk didn’t originate the role. I think it was another actor. Thomas Mitchell maybe. Ken, do you remember?)

    As far as TV remakes, the simple question to be asked is: was there a central idea driving the show, or was it a star vehicle? Rockford Files was a star vehicle. Take James Garner out of it and there’s nothing to distinguish it from any other detective show, other than the fact that this particular detective lived in a trailer with his dad. Somehow that added twist doesn’t spell ratings gold in my mind.

    I understand they’re thinking of redoing The Munsters again. (The first remake was with John Schuck, I believe.) Now if they could get somebody like Brad Garrett to play Herman, that would be great. But I wouldn’t count on it.

    Lastly, I sorta liked the Trek reboot, but I wasn’t thrilled with the two leads. I couldn’t see Chris Pine in the role at all. I would have much rather seen somebody like Matthew Fox in the role, as this was J.J. Abrams production and Fox proved his chops as a fearless leader-type on Lost. Spock wasn’t so hot either.

    But the McCoy, Uhura, Chekov, and Scotty replacements were all terrif.

  • Yes, Thomas Mitchell played Columbo in the play that inspired the TV pilot Prescription: Murder. And yes, that’s the Thomas Mitchell who was Clarence the Angel and Scarlett’s uber-Irish pop. The play ran in New York and co-starred Jospeh Cotten and Agnes Moorehead. This, however, is sort of like saying Barry Nelson was the first James Bond, not Sean Connery. Accurate in a technical sense, but not really in a larger one.

    The original conception of Columbo was that he was a much older chap, just as Dirty Harry was originally meant to be played by either John Wayne or (really) Frank Sinatra. You can see why they cast Falk, though, for the pilot, even if he was much younger at the time. And eventually, when they brought the character back for some TV movies in the ’90s (a collection of which just hit DVD this week), the age of the character finally matched up with the original idea.

    Madsen is an interesting choice, but he’s a pretty hulking presence, and it’s hard to see him selling the ‘harmless boob’ thing that was Columbo’s main act.

  • KeithB

    “other than the fact that this particular detective lived in a trailer with his dad”

    Nitpick: Rocky did not live with Rockford, he had a house that showed up in a few episodes.

  • sandra

    Re Columbo: There were a pair of tv movies with the same character BEFORE the tv series. One was based on the stage play. I think the title was MIND OVER MURDER. It had Gene Barry in the role played by Joseph Cotton. I got a big laugh out of the killer’s alibi: “I was at a hunting lodge ten miles outside of Toronto” :-D Somewhere in the suburbs, eh ? The other was RANSOM FOR A DEAD MAN. Ar either of them on DVD ?

  • Sandra–The first movie was in fact Prescription: Murder, and indeed starred Gene Barry. It aired in 1968. About six months before the first season of shows ran, Ransom For a Dead Man aired. Both telemovies can be found on the Columbo Season 1 DVD set.

  • zombiewhacker

    @KeithB

    My bad. I always assumed they lived together because everytime Rockford went back to his trailer, his dad was always there.

    Must’ve been a Ray Romano-Peter Boyle type relationship.

  • KeithB

    Could be, did Peter Boyle have a truck that Ray could borrow? 8^)