2016: I am not kidding…

Updated on January 13, 2016 By Ken Begg 27 Comments

I went through the scheduled line-up of films to be released in 2016, and other than (of course) the two Marvel Studios films–Captain American: Civil War and Doctor Strange–that ones not out until November?!–there is literally not a single new picture I definitely want to see. Not one. I’m not saying I won’t see another new movie, for instance I might be swayed by uniformly good reviews, but there’s nothing I’d place on a ‘must see’ basis.

The most likely candidate by a goodly amount is Rouge One. A Stars Wars heist film? OK, that does sound pretty nifty. If it garners good reviews this probably grabs my $10.

Possibles: Bourne 5 is the next closest, I guess. I saw all the others, and liked them well enough. Suicide Squad, if the reviews are good, because that’s a superhero (well, supervillain) film that actually should be grim, unlike Batman vs. Superman. Of course, when all the Warners films are grim, there’s no contrasting tones, so even SS is undercut. I really think that studio has its head up its ass on this.

A remake of Ben-Hur? Uh, no. Nor can I imagine that the Magnificent Seven remake won’t suck. When was the last time Denzel Washington made a movie that wasn’t lame at best?

Jack Reacher 2? The first one wasn’t terrific, but Tom Cruise always turns out at least a solid film. I doubt it though.

I’ll admit this sounds promising: The Great Wall  “Set in 15th century China, THE GREAT WALL is about British warriors who happen upon the hurried construction of the massive wall. As night falls, the warriors realize that the haste in building the wall isn’t just to keep out the Mongols — there is something inhuman and more dangerous.” Hopefully a monster movie, although good ones haven’t exactly been thick on the grounds the last couple of decades.

I’m not all that interested in the next X-Men movie, because Apocalypse came after I stopped being interested in that stuff. (Much like Venom, actually.) And really, a Gambit movie?! Fox must be really desperate for a hit after the failure–again–of Fantastic Four. And Deadpool? Ugh, the trailer looked awful.

Q: Didn’t they already reboot Friday the 13th? Are they rebooting it again? Weird.

By the way, I’m not knocking anyone else who is more excited than I by the roster. But little coming out in the next 12 months seems like my bag.

Luckily, my friend Matt is still showing old movies at the gorgeous Pickwick Theater once a month, and TCM and their partner Fathom Events has also scheduled a monthly old movie at mainstream theaters this year. The latter flicks will include titles such as Maltese Falcoln (yay!), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Planet of the Apes, Dr. Strangelove and The Ten Commandments. I think those things play nationally, for those who would be interested.

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  • On Friday the 13th, yeah they did. It was decently made, but didn’t really have any of the original’s charm. At least for me. And I use the word charm loosely. Very loosely. It’s almost like I’m not holding on to it at all or anything.

    The reboot comes as a near miss of sorts, as it was almost supposed to be a found footage flick. Why you’d want to make a found footage flick out of a Friday the 13th is beyond me, but at least some sense has been shed and the idea’s been dropped.

    You did miss one big one coming out next year, but it’s not an American flick. Toho’s gotten off of its duff and is releasing a new Godzilla, called Godzilla Resurgence. Little nervous about this one myself. Some images of the puppet (!) they’re using for the big guy has me concerned. It looks good, but not quite right. My brother Todd took one look and wondered what the world was coming to, where the American Godzilla was coming closer to the real thing than a Japanese one.

    No proper trailer on that, but those should be coming soon as the release nears.

  • Deen

    Dr Strange, no. Civil War, yes and yes. Deadpool will stink because of its almost NC17 rating, Xmen will stink again, Batman vs Super will stink, Daredevil Netflix will be awesome. Suicide Squad? Not sure. Refer back here for 98.6% accuracy after they come out. :) Deen

  • Gamera977

    Actually I kinda looking forward to ‘Rogue One’ and hope it doesn’t suck. I still haven’t seen ‘The Force Awakens’ but since as far as I’ve heard it’s just a remake of the original I’m not sure if there’s any real point. ‘Rogue One’ seems to actually be an original story and director Gareth Edwards makes real movies, not just remaking older movies bigger, louder, and stupider like Jar Jar Abrams. Plus I never liked the Jedi and would much rather see a movie about star fighter pilots and spies.

    ‘The Great Wall’ does sound pretty awesome, thanks for bringing it to my attention. And I hope ‘Godzilla Resurgence’ will be cool too.

    Funny, looking back I don’t think I saw a single movie in the theater all year. It’s sad when I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns of ‘American Pickers’ or ‘Gold Rush’ than any of the ‘greatest movie evah!!!’ that Hollywood keeps pumping out.

  • Force Awakens was a great deal of fun. It does have a lot of similarities between it and A New Hope, but I thought it was enough of its own beast.

    Your mileage might vary, of course.

  • The Rev.

    We’re going to see FA this weekend. Hope it’s good.

    I’m glad he mentioned Great Wall, because that one piques my interest. I wasn’t sure I cared about Rogue One, but if Gareth Edwards is helming it I’m much more willing to see it. I might give Suicide Squad a go if reviews are good, as I like some of the characters in that. And, of course, the new Godzilla film.

    Nothing else there grabbed me. Well, I care about the Marvel films, but I doubt I’ll be seeing them in the theater, as I’m woefully behind on that series. I think the last one I saw was Iron Man 2. No Hulk, no Cap, no Thor, no Avengers. I really have no excuse, other than once I got behind it got easier and easier to let it go and just build up. Kind of like the Fest write-ups…

  • Gamera977

    I’ll probably end up seeing FA in the theater, just not in a hurry if you know what I mean.

  • bgbear_rnh

    For the longest time I did not like Denzel Washington in much of anything after “Glory”. Lately though “Flight” was very good and and “Safe House” was entertaining. Better with age?

  • Flangepart

    >Plus I never liked the Jedi and would much rather see a movie about star fighter pilots and spies.<
    The X-WING series by Mike Stakepole. If he does the script, and the director knows his airwar/spec ops, that could be killer.

  • Toby Clark

    I liked Man of Steel, despite some reservations, and I’m still fairly confident that Dawn of Justice will be good and will address and resolve those reservations to my satisfaction.

    I am significantly less optimistic about X-Men: Apocalypse. Mostly because I’m still kinda pissed about the eetcons, cosmic and otherwise, in Days of Future Past. And it doesn’t help that Bryan Singer is still going out of his way to overwrite the movies he wasn’t involved with.

    I’ll probably see Deadpool, but I’m really hoping they don’t go overboard with the jabs at Green Lantern. That movie does bot deserve the kind of abuse it gets.

    Right now the movies at the top of my watchlist are Finding Dory, Moana and Captain America: Civil War.

  • Ken_Begg

    Captain America: Winter Soldier was spectacularly good. If this one is close I’ll be very happy.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Well, I haven’t been in a theatre since 2012, and can’t really imagine every going again.

  • Put me down for the Cloverfield sequel, 10 Cloverfield Lane.

    …
    I mean, I’m planning on going out and seeing it. Don’t insult me for watching it.

    …

    Except maybe afterwards, when it turns out to be bad. Then I deserve it. Just like I deserve all the scorn I got for seeing American Werewolf in Paris in theaters.

    Brrr. American Werewolf in Paris.

  • Ken_Begg

    I don’t know, all-CGI werewolves is ALWAYS a good idea.

  • When you’re doing a sequel to what has to be one of the best werewolf movies ever made, you have to bring you’re A Game, not whatever letter they brought (let’s say Q). They could have brought Rick Baker back, done the whole thing practical with whatever money Baker wanted, and still missed the mark by a good mile or so. Very depressing. About the second worst movie I’ve seen in theaters.

  • Petoht

    Wait. The hyper-violent mercenary character will have a movie with a lot of violence in it? Shocking!

    This is possibly the only complaint I have ever seen for Deadpool complaining about being rated too high. Most people were worrying that it’d be watered down PG-13 garbage.

  • Petoht

    They can’t all be Wolf Cop!

  • Deen

    The violence is not a problem, We expect that. But we screenwriters know, and the public does too, that the sweet spot for $$$ for a movie is PG-13. Every single blockbuster has rated that. So they are going to forego half their box office gate to add in F bombs and overt sexuality? Makes no sense from a $$$ standpoint.

  • Rock Baker

    God willing, I’ll be directing my first film this year. Any advice?

  • Petoht

    Every single one? Hardly.

    Frankly, that “sweet spot” argument is one of the things utterly killing movies in general and horror movies in particular. Personally, I’m sick of movies being neutered so studios can grab a few more bucks and then turn around and release an “unrated” dvd.

    The fact that your definition of “stink” seems to entirely hinge on box office returns is rather telling. And more than a little depressing.

  • kgb_san_diego

    Hey all! Pertinent to this discussion, I just saw a trailer for an Ultrman movie for release this year. Hard to tell from what I saw, but it is from a Japanese studio so, promising?

  • Civil War I’ve been waiting for with bated breath. Doctor Strange I will almost certainly see, though I may give it a week or two for the reviews to start coming in (then again, I’m apparently the only person in America who though Ant-man was resoundingly meh, probably the third dullest MCU film ever). No interest in Deadpool, simply because I’ve found that my tolerance for even semi-realistic violence in movies has dropped to nearly nil, and I don’t have time for the nightmares.

    The only other one I am waiting on is Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the previews on that one have me pretty intrigued. I think the 1930s New York setting and focus on adult, rather than juvenile protagonists has the potential to work really well, and generally I really enjoyed the Potter movies.

    Beyond that nothing else has even risen to the level of being on my radar, for good or ill, just a vast sea of remakes, reboots, spin-offs and generally more of the same old same old.

  • The Rev.

    I would assume it’s from Tsubaraya since Ultraman’s their baby. They do make movies based on their ongoing series fairly often; however, this appears to be a standalone, or possibly a lead-in to a new series.

    Not sure what I think of the CGI kaiju and Ultraman there. I’m annoyed mostly because the monster’s first appearance led me to believe it was a suit. Ultraman’s appearance quickly put paid to that notion. While it opens up what they can do, I’m a die-hard suit fan. I suppose if it’s good enough I could overlook it. I was able to do that with the 2014 Godzilla, albeit assisted by the fact that the CGI was pretty good.

  • Marsden

    Well, since 2010ish, I usually see the MCU movies, and whatever kid movies my daughter wants to see. I really liked Oz the Great and Powerful, mostly because it was the first movie we both wanted to see. In 2015 I saw Ultron, Ant-Man, Paddington, Sponge out of Water and Peanuts. That was a lot of movies for me to go to. So except Cap and Strange, I have no plans. I’d like to see the new Star Wars, but I’m not sure I want to bother. Redbox only costs a dollar. I’d rent that for a dollar!

    Actually, that last bit brings up someting that bothers me. So many movies in my younger years left so much of an impression, like Robocop, that it’s kind of part of my mind. That just popped in there, like Stay Puft. I don’t know if it’s age, but movies in the last say 20 years or so just don’t have that big of an impression any more, with the possible exception of the MCU films, and they have been only in the last 7 or 8 years.

    I don’t know.

  • Ken_Begg

    Good, clean storytelling (style-wise, not content-wise) generally beats crazy directorial tricks. Show, don’t tell. In other words, characterization through action. Don’t explain stuff. Assume the audience will get things. If you layer in more subtle stuff, let it be there for people to catch if they do, but provide enough story and entertainment that those who get 90% of the movie are still satisfied.

  • Story trumps most everything. There should be an internal logic for everything that happens, though it might be logical to the story and the story alone. It doesn’t have to be spelled out to the audience, it might not be in the obvious places, but I believe it has to be there somewhere.

  • I think I may have been the only other person in America to see it there. I don’t think I even have the excuse that I was stationed overseas at the time, which is my usual go to for “crap I actually paid good money to see in a theater”. Don’t feel too bad though. I once paid money to attend a showing of “Kazaam”.

  • I just saw the Suicide Squad trailer and, unlike Superman or anything to do with the new Wonder Woman, it actually looks like a fun movie and much less dark and gritty than the rest of the universe. If that is not proof positive that DC has all of their movie priorities completely bass-ackward, I don’t know what is!