Monster of the Day #3244

I know how you feel, lady. Mondays!

  • Gamera977

    I now want a ‘Satan’s Roadhouse’ movie set in Hell with Satan as the ebil dude who owns the entire town. Maybe played by Ernest Borgnine- I mean it worked in ‘The Devil’s Rain’.

    Or maybe it didn’t.

    Patrick Swayze arrives as his character from ‘Ghost’ to clean house!

    Mayhem ensures!!!

    ‘Pain don’t hurt. Ok, maybe it does… AARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!’

    ‘I thought you’d be bigger, and deader.’

    ‘A demonic bear fell on me.’

  • Here’s another one of those covers that isn’t quite what it seems.

    Looks like some innocent woman is getting grabbed by some giant glowing eyes skeletal dude, right?

    But note the hand. It isn’t positioned quite right. It doesn’t really seem to have her in any sort of meaningful grip. The expression on the woman’s face isn’t that of terror. With her mouth open like that, there’s only one terrifying interpretation open to us.

    That woman is singing. No doubt Feel In My Heart (The Words Get Stuck in My Throat). From the otherwise adequate War of the Gargantua

    I know, I know, that’s anachronistic and entirely too cruel a song to bring up so early in the day. Nevertheless it’s the only logical choice given the absolute LOATHING on the faces of the monks in the foreground. These men have taken a rare excursion into town, just looking to relax from a hard day monking abound the monkestary. They wanted nice, soothing music, and got… this.

    Which wound be bad enough if the worst wasn’t yet to come. For this is Satan’s Roadhouse, where the beer is always flat, the waitresses poke you with salad forks, and Seth MacFarlane runs around proclaiming “Roadhouse!” every five minutes thinking it’ll come around and be funny again, which in my opinion also summarizes the problem with Family Guy.

    Anyway, that’s the real story behind this cover. Has to be. Otherwise I’ve spent too much time on this, and that would be sad.

    Well, more like typical.

  • This weekend I finished my 14-movie Steven Seagal DTV marathon, which has consumed my viewing habits for the better part of a month and a half.

    I had difficulties sleeping early last night, so I watched Lucio Fulci’s “Manhattan Baby.” That film was 1) Lucio Fulci’s take on The Exorcist, 2) completely nonsensical, 3) rather tame in the violence department (save the final kill), and 4) featured a solid soundtrack by Fabio Frizzi (even though he resused pieces from “Gates of Hell” and “The Beyond.”

  • Marsden

    So… I see Gamera’s post and thing that’s one of the best I’ve seen….
    then I see Cullen’s post…

    There must be more talent here on this site than so many of the movies and tv shows that are made.

  • Ken_Begg

    Talk about damning with faint praise!

  • Gamera977

    Well, Cullen’s comment was really clever. Mine, well ‘Roadhouse’ is a friggin’ joke in any case, I’m just going for the low hanging fruit.

  • I’m going to be honest: I waited until someone else went for that low hanging fruit so I wouldn’t feel compelled to. And yet, if you notice, I still couldn’t help myself.

  • Marsden

    That’s great, I love this place! I needed another good laugh!

  • Ken_Begg

    Are these those recent Russian Seagal movies. Are those even really movies? You might enjoy checking out Ralph The Moviemaker’s channel on YouTube, he’s been on a Seagal tear lately.

  • Ken_Begg

    Glad to be of service. And all I have to do is post a picture and let the rest of you guys do the heavy lifting. Sweet!