Open for discussion…

They’re remaking My Bloody Valentine (big surprise), and it supposedly will be in 3-D.  It’s amazing that ticket sales are down every year, isn’t it?

Speaking of remakes, they’re now turning episodes of old TV anthologies into movies.  In this case, the “Countdown” episode of the old Twilight Zone.  That’s actually not any dumber, really, then remaking old films, and you probably could find shows whose plot would profit from being intelligently expanded.  But what are the odds of that happening? 

Clint Eastwood is returning in front of the camera for a project currently called “Gran Turino.”  Rumor is buzzing that the film will in fact be the final chapter in the Dirty Harry series.

George Lucas is getting out ahead of the crowd by reminding fans that the upcoming Indiana Jones and the New McGuffin is “only a movie.”  Apparently he’s still irked about fans’ reactions to his latest Star Wars trilogy, in which their vast disappointment was fueled by unrealisitic expectations that the movies would be “good.” 

 Speaking of, I still have my doubts that Spielberg is capable of making a film like this anymore.  Will he actually have Communists be outright villains–wow, imagine–or will their be ‘rogue’ bad guys on both sides.  Is Spielberg willing any longer to make a film featuring fun violence?  If not, how can he make an Indiana Jones movie?  Will, Indy only use the whip now, and then purely as a defensive weapon?  Will he warn young Shara LeBeef or whatever that violence eats away one’s soul and that no cause is worth killing for?   Blech.  Let’s hope not.

To my immense shock, the guy who played Johnny Storm in the two Fantastic Four movies has said he doesn’t think there will be a third one.  No shit.  The extraordinary thing to me isn’t that the first film kind of sucked, but that every flaw in the first film was again present in the second.  This was potentially a billion dollar franchise, and yet amazingly to me when they got a chance at a do-over following the tepid respose to the first film, nobody thought to say, “Hey, let’s have a meeting to make sure that we don’t at least repeat the mistakes we made the first time around as we spend another hundred million plus dollars.  Here’s some reviews of the first film I’ve printed off the web, nearly all of which mention the same problems.”  How does the movie business even remain extant, you wonder.

I just saw the charming French film Amelie (pretty good, not great, but the lead actress is extremely cute), and…the guys who make the TV show Pushing Daisies send regular royalty checks to the makers of Amelie, right?  Because, wow, they steal from that movie wholesale.

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  • Dan Coyle

    Richard Southland Tales Kelly’s next project is The Box, an adaptation of Matheson’s short story “Button, Button”, which I know was adapted for the mid-80s TWZ revival.

  • Ericb

    I would think that old Outer Limits episodes would present better material for making full length movies. The Twilight Zone tends to rely too much on “twist” endings for their effect which doesn’t translate well in full length films. Just ask the M. Night Ican’tspellhislastnamefrommemory fellow.

  • The Rev. D.D.

    I think you’re right about TOL making for good film fodder.
    For instance…anyone else think “The Zanti Misfits” might work as a feature-length film? I realize it’s yet another siege-type horror story in the NotLD vein, but those can still be done well.
    Assuming, of course, we get a writer who does good characterization, since that’s what would be needed to stretch it to film length.
    Well, that and a couple of good attack scenes.
    And an updating of the aliens’ appearance.
    Otherwise, it’s just about good to go.

    Just make sure you keep the ending. That was one of the best punchlines ever.

  • FS

    In this case, the “Countdown” episode of the old Twilight Zone.

  • FS

    Sorry, meant to say that the actual episode title is “Death Ship”, I believe.

  • fish eye no miko

    ken: Apparently he’s still irked about fans’ reactions to his latest Star Wars trilogy, in which their vast disappointment was fueled by unrealisitic expectations that the movies would be “good.”

    OUCH!
    Actually, re-watching AotC and RotS, I think they’re really not so bad. I actually rather like AotC, in fact.

    Man, once the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hills Have Eyes remakes did well, it really opened the flood gates, huh? Halloween, Black Christmas… There’s gonna be remakes of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, as well. I’m actually kind of interested in the F13 one (for one thing, those movies could be improved upon), but Nightmare? Uh, no.

  • John Nowak

    I can’t help but wonder if part of Hollywood’s problem is that now that DVD libraries are so big, they’re effectively in competition with the best movies and TV made over the last eighty years or so.

    Well, that’s probably not it, but you can practically smell the desperation.

  • So they’ve run out of famous slasher films to remake, now they’re looking for lesser-known ones? What’s next? Nailgun Massacre?

    To those of you who are more knowledgeable than I am: Has Hollywood been through similar periods of creative deficiency and an inability to come with good ideas (or original takes on old favorites)? Have their been periods analogous to now (where old classics and Japanese horror films are the inspiration) where remakes and going back to the well was all the writers were capable of?

  • Ericb

    I remember that the Summer of 1989 was dubbed “the Summer of the sequels” because almost every major release that season was a sequel to some previous bloviated blockbuster.

  • John Nowak

    Well, recycling really isn’t anything new: my personal favorite is an episode of the radio anthology Suspense (“Sorry, Wrong Number”) which was expanded and made into a movie, which was then adapted for radio…

    Still, I do think that people are losing the movie habit. I wonder if movies are, like American comic books, turning into a niche hobby. And honestly, I don’t think that’s good for anyone.