Monster of the Day #1091

Have I really never featured Plan 9 as MotD before? Seems weird. Anyway, this was the usual midnight show, and as usually, I napped through it because I’ve seen it a million times before. It’s still great, though.

  • Flangepart

    Plan 9…home of my favorite bad movie quote.
    “Well, one things for sure. Inspector Clay is dead…murdered…and somebody is responsible!”
    Ya think, Sherlock?

  • Gamera977

    Is that the same detective that was pointing his police revolver at different members of the cast while wildly gesturing? I always giggle when he scratches his stomach with the muzzle of his own gun, talk about failing your firearm safety course!

  • Gamera977

    I have to admit Vampira was one of the most undead looking vampresses of all time IMHO, gee woman eat a friggin’ cheeseburger (or five or six!) for crying out loud!

  • SteveWD

    I always kind of liked “future events such as these will affect you in the future”, and “Visits? That would imply visitors”. Plan 9 just keeps on giving.

  • This images gives me a nightmare flashback to my senior prom. And I didn’t even go to senior prom.

  • bgbear_rnh

    Lots of laffs but, last time I viewed I decided “You, who wear the uniform of your country. You see, I wear the uniform of my country” wins in the category of “funniest quote that requires you to be watching the film”.

  • LT_Harper

    Yes, that’s the one. LT. HARPER as portrayed by the great DUKE MOORE.

  • LT_Harper

    GONE WITH THE WIND had 3 directors. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE only had one. That says it all right there.

  • Flangepart

    Annnnd Mike Nelson in his solo riff of this did a side bit about that poor gun handling.
    Ed Wood Jr. is the Bulyer-Lytton of film making

  • bgbear_rnh

    it was a dark and stormy day for night

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Funniest quote that won’t make any difference if you’re watching or not: “Now, don’t you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I’ll be locked up safely in there.”

  • bgbear_rnh

    What makes that line funny to me is that is exactly how the actress delivers the line, just a straight read of the sentence off the script with no attempt to add inflection to “there”.

    “ball it up in Albuquerque” gets the same dead read.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    The otherwise meh parody “Destination Mars” had a great bit with a policeman who used his gun like that constantly.

  • Rock Baker

    She would fast for three days to cinch her waist down that tight before her show. The minute the cameras were off, she’d dart over to the hash house across the street from the studio and gorge herself. It was during one of those food binges that she met Criswell. Presumably, he introduced her to Wood.

    Wood knew he had a good thing with Vampira in his cast, and subsequently created stand-in characters when Nurmi decided she’d better bow out of pictures following the shooting of PLAN 9.

  • Rock Baker

    This right here is a good example of how Wood managed to create the occasional iconic image despite himself. Vampira skulking around the dead trees before a stark black background and Tor rising from his grave being the two best moments his collective camera ever caught.

  • Eric Hinkle

    That’s nothing, I remember him scratching his head with the barrel! As one reviewer put it, “The inevitable results if the gun went off would not only be horrific but downright poetic, since anyone that stupid never used their brain much in the first place!”

  • Eric Hinkle

    Okay, it’s an awful movie, but at least it entertains you. That’s more than I can say for modern straight to DVD or even big-screen films I’ve seen in recent years. Maybe the SyFy Channel should see if they can put Ed Wood’s brain in a jug, hook up a car battery, and see if they can get some original ideas for their movies?

  • Gamera977

    YOW! I love a woman with a slender tiny waist but she was pushing it a little too far- I swear I think I could put my hands on her waist and touch my fingers and thumbs together!

  • Gamera977

    Yeah, worst movie ever? I think we all can think up five or more worse than this off the top of our heads.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    My favorite, still, is “Flying saucer? You mean the kind from up there?”
    “Yeah, or its counterpart.” I just cannot grasp what that second bit of dialogue is supposed to mean.

  • Rock Baker

    That’s exactly the way Forry Ackerman described her once in costume!

  • Rock Baker

    Wood had a special talent, it must be said. I briefly considered writing a Woodian script for a project, and quickly abandoned the idea. I have an ear for realistic dialog, and couldn’t begin to wrap my mind around the process of actually writing something so alien!

  • Rock Baker

    Indeed. A critic once said PLAN 9 was more akin to a Republic serial chapter (I assume he didn’t mean in the dialog) and wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about. Frankly, I’d think Wood’s own GLEN OR GLENDA comes much closer to the title (and it’s not dull either).

  • GalaxyJane

    She also wore a heavy rubber corset/girdle to bring the waist down to that size and, according to an interview I read a number of years age, rubbed meat tenderizer into her waist as well in hopes of whittling it away. Can’t see how that would do anything but irritate the hell out of your skin, but whatever. I do believe she continued waist training even on the days she wasn’t onscreen, to ensure she stayed wasp waisted for the show.

  • Gamera977

    Gee whiz! OUCH!

  • Eric Hinkle

    Agreed. For example, MANOS *wishes* it was half as entertaining as Plan 9.

  • Eric Hinkle

    Talk about devotion to a role!

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Manos? Heck, Plan 9 is more entertaining–and makes more sense–than every movie ever made by The Asylum.

  • Flangepart

    You could wear MANOS like a hat!

  • Flangepart

    Bless you! There is hope!

  • rtpoeman

    Exorcist II: The Heretic. With Ed Wood, at least he had the excuse of having absolutely no talent or ability whatsoever. But with E2:TH, everyone involved should have been able to do better. Much, much better….

  • Luke Blanchard

    It would be the corset that was the key factor, I think. Reportedly, tightlacing can physically change a woman’s body.

  • Let’s try this again…

    I don’t know whether _Event Horizon_ is worse than _Plan 9_ in absolute terms, but when you factor in the budget…

    A friend saw it in a theater and sat through the whole thing, determined not to let it beat her (pretty much the same reason I watched it on cable). Afterwards she found the manager and demanded her two hours back.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Not to demean Ed Wood–seriously–but Plan 9 makes perfect sense if you think of it as a film written and directed by 8-year-olds, who managed to get their parents, teachers, etc to act in it. The whole “why a crypt and not a grave” thing is exactly the sort of thing a kid would feel he had to explain, while other factors (different cars, day-night-day, etc) wouldn’t require any bother.

  • Rock Baker

    That’s similar to my take on REPTILICUS, which is that it seems to’ve been written and directed by some nine year old who loved monster movies but didn’t have a clue as to how the real world worked. That would certainly seem to fit Wood’s view of things, despite all the things he saw. Come to think of it, I guess his being able to keep his cheery optimism and child-like view despite his War experiences and his time spent in a noted cynical trap like Hollywood is rather heroic.

  • Gamera977

    That’s one of my definitions of what makes a movie ‘so bad it’s good’ as opposed to a simple bad movie- it has to be fun.