Monster of the Day #1089

Updated on February 3, 2015 By Ken Begg 32 Comments

Sorry about yesterday, it was a snow day. Actually, the snow day was Sunday. We got about 18 inches. That’s my neighbor’s car yesterday morning. I didn’t think I’d get out of the trailer park because they hadn’t plowed since mid-afternoon the day before. The day I spent shoveling over and over and over again. Luckily the plow came about 6:00 AM, leaving me just enough time to dig out the ton of new, compacted snow the plow wedged against my car, and get to work JUST in time to punch in at 7:30. Whew! No lost vacation time. Still, not the best Sunday ever. And I’m not even a Seahawk!


Here’s the final monster from Metalstorm, presumably inspired by the Energy Being from Outer Limits. Again, DO NOT BE FOOLED!!! This movie is far less interesting than this series of picture has indicated.

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  • A movie doesn’t have to be interesting for me to sit through. Zombie Lake proved that. Sadly.

  • Flangepart

    If he looks at his feet, he’ll spear his chest with his jaw horns…how is that even remotely practical?

  • Gamera977

    Eighteen inches!?! Thank God I live in the South!!! I hope your heating didn’t go out again Ken, gee friggin’ whiz!

  • Ericb

    Ours started as snow but then turned to rain but since the snow from the previous storm had clogged up the storm drains there was nowhere for the water to go. When I left for work my apartment building was surrounded by a slush lake.

  • bgbear_rnh

    It has been hitting 70 around our parts. Rain suppose to come back this week.

  • bgbear_rnh

    That’s why they invented gratuitous nudity.

    Besides that, I was fascinated by the how far they would go with the switch back and forth from the zombie “lake” to the zombie swimming pool. As they said on MST3K, “they just didn’t care” .

  • Gamera977

    Slush lake, yech! Flooding and water damage ain’t no joke!

  • Only trouble with that is that I watched Zombie Lake on the internet, and as I did I was fairly certain I could find gratuitous nudity without, y’ know, having it connected to Zombie Lake

  • Ericb

    Luckily I live on the 3rd floor. The water didn’t go over the curb so I guess the basement was ok but now I see why it has drains in the floor.

  • bgbear_rnh

    You are missing a subtle distinction of indulging in pron and simply watching a movie that happens to have naked women as part of the story.

  • Gamera977

    Ah, figured you didn’t live on the ground floor but good that it didn’t damage the basement of the building.

    Friend on another forum had his basement flood and had to tear out and replace the furnace, hot water heater, and a bunch of carpeting, And of course all the personally stuff down there too that ended up ruined.

  • Gamera977

    ‘Sure all these nekkid ladies are cute and all but this movie could really use a big dumb hokey monster…’

  • bgbear_rnh

    I see it like this:

    dialog one
    Wife: What are you watching?
    Husband: a zombie flick
    Wife: My goodness there are bunch of naked high school girls!
    Husband: geez, I know, some of these foreign filmmaker.

    Dialog two

    Wife: Are you watching porn?
    Husband: uh
    Wife: a**hole

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I don’t remember this, but that’s not surprising. The only scene I remember was when a tree burst into flames, and David Preston pointed and said something along the lines of “You see, there’s the sign!”

    People don’t really expect quality from Charles Band, do they? I think the only movie he actually directed that has any quality is “Trancers.”

  • Gamera977

    That’s how I justify them- it’s not porn- it’s a horror movie!

  • The Rev.

    Back in the day you’d usually get something from a Band movie. The first three Puppet Master movies are varying degrees of all right, and I’ve heard some pretty good things about the Subspecies series, again the first couple of movies (I think Ken himself has brought them up as pretty decent in the past). He seems to have long moved past caring, though. This was an early example, because it takes some pretty good ingredients and gives us a shamefully boring result.
    I pretty much gave up on him last year after watching the two “Axis” movies in the PM series. The first was done by David DeCoteau, and was pretty damn bad (this normally wouldn’t be a surprise, but DeCoteau actually gave us the best of the series, which was even a direct lead-in to these two). Even with the introduction of evil puppets in the second one, Band’s movie was measurably worse. Than a David DeCoteau movie. I was stunned, to say the very least.

  • Rock Baker

    What got me was the setting of 1958 or so which in no way seemed anything short of 1980 or so. Talk about not even trying!

  • Rock Baker

    Actually, CRASH AND BURN was pretty good, and SHADOWZONE was better than expected. And of course there’s ZONE TROOPERS. THE DAY TIME ENDED was pretty neat. Band had his moments.

  • bgbear_rnh

    Apparently Germans invented bikini underwear in the 1950s. They are the “master race”.

  • Rock Baker

    The film also evidences unacknowledged advances in automotive design and fashion. A Nation Ahead Of It’s Time in so many fields!

  • bgbear_rnh

    or was it France? Oh heck, I guess I didn’t care to get it right. Why should I care more than the film makers?

    There’s a place in France where the naked ladies no longer dance

  • Ah, but I didn’t say I could have been watching porn, now did I?
    There are plenty of movies with the gratuitous but without the lingering shame of Zombie Lake. ;-)

    Small confession here: I laughed almost all the way through Zombie Lake. Not at the movie, mind you, but at myself. When I found it on Netflix I was giddy with excitement. Here was a film I’d heard so much about, and I had an opportunity to watch it!

    That it was everything everyone said it would be meant I only had myself to blame.

  • I’m going to second Crash and Burn. Have a lot of fond memories of that flick.

  • bgbear_rnh

    same here

  • The Rev.

    Thirded.

  • The Rev.

    I remember the nifty giant robot and the murder in the shower and that’s about it. I didn’t find it really bad, just underwhelming. Same with Shadowzone; I barely recall anything about that one.

    I keep forgetting Zone Troopers, which Rock has championed before and which I should see someday (along with Trancers). The Day Time Ended I also haven’t seen, so I’ll make a note of it.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I don’t think Band actually directed any of the Puppet Master movies, did he? That’s what I meant. “The Day Time Ended” is kind of like “Xtro” in that both really seemed to be some effects house’s demo reel with some dialogue added. I did think the vacuum cleaner of doom was pretty neat, though.

  • Flangepart

    ZONE TROOPERS was alright. Can’t speak for the others.

  • Rock Baker

    Unlike XTRO, though, THE DAY TIME ENDED was watchable in a regular way.

  • The Rev.

    BC: You were mostly right; while he’s written/co-written nearly all of them, he didn’t direct any of the originals. The only ones he’s directed are the second “Axis” one and The Legacy, which I haven’t seen because it’s apparently a clip show.
    I’ve actually seen one of the sequels to Xtro (I want to say Xtro 3) but not the original. My interest was renewed when the RLM boys featured it on a “Best of the Worst,” but it promptly dropped off my radar after that. I’m not currently in the middle of some sort of binge, so this might be a good time to get to it.

  • Rock Baker

    For what it’s worth, the sequels have absolutely nothing to do with the first XTRO. I saw the second one once, and was fairly shocked to find it was an actual movie.

  • Marsden

    I think the “Your shoelaces are untied” trick would be very effective here!