Year: 2026

"Rah. I'm a Monsta." The Friday Discord Watch Party feature was The Monster of the Piedras Blancas. It's pretty fun, barely over an hour long and, as you can see, has a pretty cool monster. It's one of the more successful attempts to alter the instantly iconic Creature of the Black Lagoon design. The…

The next movie was sponsored by Telstar Man, the Mayor of B-Fest. A most beloved figure. It was the extremely goofy The Dragon Lives Again, a sort of cheapie kung fu movie featuring a cast of famous (and blatantly stolen) characters; Popeye, Cain from Kung Fu, "Bruce Lee," James Bond, Zatoichi, etc. And, as…

Next up was the spookshow feature Monsters Crash the Pajama Party. Basically around Halloween people would rent a theater and have a late-night horror show, usually mixing old horror movies and campy shorts. This was around 40 minutes (I think) and featured a mad scientists and girls in nightgowns. I had no complaints, although…

Boy, something spooky in a mirror. That's fresh.Following Elves, we got Ice Pirates. Sadly, I couldn't find a still of the Space Herpes. I always found this film more dumb than entertaining--it's big gag, after all, is "space herpes"--but sometimes you come back to a film expecting it to be terrible and it's not…

Following Plan 9, we got arguably the Fest's one traditional stinker (Plan 9 is its own thing), Elves. A classic '80s DTV mix of incest, mysticism, Nazi, Dan Haggarty and really inexpressive puppets, it's the real deal. And hey, if you want to see a guy in a Santa suit get stabbed in the…

The fourth movie was Cobra Woman. People were excited, until I explained they were thinking of Cult of the Cobra. Still, Cobra Woman was a fun south sea adventure featuring Jon Hall (Beach Girls and the Monster), Sabu (Jungle Hell) and Maria Martez. It was the second film to feature twin princesses, one good…

The third movie at B-Fest (shifted from the second) was Ticks, and was probably my favorite movie this year. I like big bug movies to start with, and I love making the ticks about apple-sized. They are big enough to be scary, but small enough to skitter around in a very frightening manner. This…

The sponsor of the scheduled second film hadn't arrived, so the show runners swapped the third and second movies. Now the second film was Voyage of the Rock Aliens, which is sort of a mix of those old Avalon / Funnicello beach movies and the Darkness video that also featured space tentacles. As with…